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29 April 2007 @ 01:38 pm
Rings and Rods (30 Hugs: Heiji/Kazuha)  
Title: Rings and Rods
Fandom: Detective Conan
Theme: #25—the curtain falls
Pairing: Hattori Heiji/Toyama Kazuha
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or any related characters. They belong to Gosho Aoyama. I simply throw fruit at them, take pictures, and call it modern art. Critics love me.
Summary: Remodeling can be very, very dangerous.



When Kazuha had told him that she was redecorating her bedroom, Heiji had responded in the classic ‘smile and nod’ fashion. When she had then asked him to come over and help, he had balked before falling, a miserable victim to the tried and true Sad Puppy Dog Eyes.

It was because of this that he found himself inside on a beautiful Saturday morning—when he really should have been outside enjoying the sunlight and the amazing weather—up to his elbows in paint and assorted furnishings…and increasingly irritated at the situation as a whole.

They’d done most of the painting the night before, so it was time to start doing the rest of it. Heiji wound up getting a bunch of wadded-up fabric dumped into arms. Then Kazuha dropped a bunch of metal rings on top of those and shoved a curtain rod into his free hand and directed him towards the window with orders to go put the curtains up.

He went obediently, but not without a few grumbled complaints. Kazuha rolled her eyes and artfully ignored the muttering and went back to her work of unrolling posters of some of her favorite movies and musical artists.

For a few minutes, it was quiet, save for the sound of Heiji screwing the first curtain rod bracket into the wall above the window and then the muted clanking of the rod and rings hitting each other. And for those couple of moments, it was surprisingly peaceful.

Then…

“It’s not straight,” Kazuha chimed in from where she was hanging some posters on the far wall.

“Okay…” he straightened it and continued looping the rings onto the rod.

A couple of minutes passed.

“You’re putting them on backwards,” she pointed out.

“All riiiiiiight…” he said through gritted teeth, sliding the rings free to fix it.

Another thirty seconds went by.

“Aren’t you done yet?” Kazuha sighed.

His temper went SNAP. “Look, if you want this done, then just shut—“ Heiji roared and whirled around to face her fully—and forgot that the curtain rod he was holding over his head was not yet anchored fully to the wall. When he turned, he let go of it…

…and was cut off in mid-insult as the curtain fell, clonking him right in the head. Heiji’s eyes rolled back into his head as he dropped to his knees and then went straight forward, facedown, onto the floor. He didn’t move an inch.

Kazuha looked down at him for a moment before reaching down. After ascertaining that he was still breathing, she gathered the fallen curtains into her arms and headed for the door. “Dad! I think the curtains just killed Heiji! Can you come up and help?”




PS. I figured it was time for a little humor. The last three were angst, fluff, and flangst (a combination of fluff and angst), so it was funny’s turn. I hope you liked the random Heiji-abuse. Plus, I know what the theme usually means (“the curtain falls”), but…I thought this was more fun :D

Only thirteen left! Thanks for reading, everyone! Much love!