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28 December 2007 @ 08:30 pm
A Day in the Life of Evil Incarnate (30 Evil Deeds: Gin)  
Title: A Day in the Life of Evil Incarnate
Author: Candyland
Fandom: Detective Conan
Bad Guy: Gin
Theme: #27—counting the hours
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Own Detective Conan, I do not. Own the characters, Gosho Aoyama does. Making money off them, I am not. Borrow and write about them, I merely do. Talk like Yoda, I must.
Summary: Gin had a busy day ahead of him.



7:00 AM: Wake up. Begin morning ritual

When his alarm went off in the morning, the being known as Gin sat up, looked at the clock…and fell over again. But when the heinous buzzing didn’t stop, he obligingly rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom, pausing only long enough to shoot the alarm clock.

Let it never be said that embodiments of Evil were morning people.

Once he was up and moving, though, he set about getting ready for his day. This included washing his face with Evil-brand soap, brushing his teeth with Evil-brand toothpaste (minty!), and brushing his Blonde Hair of Evil exactly one hundred times for maximum shininess.

After he had cleaned up and attired himself in a manner befitting his standing and profession, he headed down for his favorite breakfast: a big bowl of Evil-O’s! Hmm…evil…

8:00 AM: Head to work

With his morning routine completed, Gin hopped in his Black Car of Evil (with Vodka in tow) and headed out to cause suffering in the world. A glance at his assignment sheet from the Syndicate proved that he had a very busy day ahead of him.

9:00 AM: Death

9:30 AM: Death

10:00 AM: Death

11:00 AM: Death

11:30 AM: Death

12:00 AM: Lunch


A charming little Italian bistro provided good pasta. It was so tasty that Gin decided not to nuke the place, lest the chef die and thus be unable to prepare such a meal for him again.

After the last noodle had been devoured (and for the record, embodiments of Evil did NOT slurp their alfredo, thank you very much), they headed back out to the car. When he turned the key in the ignition, the radio came blaring on. “…is radio station E-V-I-L, for all your Evil music needs! We’re bringing ‘em to you seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day, sixty seconds a minute!”

It was Gin’s favorite radio station. Well, back to work.

12:30 PM Death

1:00 PM: Death

1:30 PM: Death

2:00 Afternoon tea


This was the part of his day that didn’t involve death—or worrying about his hair. And Vodka did make some delicious scones. His only complaint was that the Syndicate’s botanists had not yet found a truly Evil tea. They one they were currently drinking was only Moderately Unpleasant.

They needed to keep working on that.

3:00 PM: Death

3:45 PM: Quick death

4:00 PM: Jazzercise


Although it was incredibly asinine, Gin reminded himself not to shoot this instructor. Walking embodiments of all that is unholy needed to be in shape!

5:00 PM: Death

6:00 PM: Death

7:00 PM: Late dinner

8:00 PM: Death

9:00 PM Death

10:00 PM: Free time


During his “down time” in the Syndicate’s lounge, he wound up getting into an argument with Vermouth. As she walked away with a decided swing of those famous hips, Gin really thought about making her dead.

11:00 PM: Bedtime

As he curled up in bed (possibly with a teddy bear, although no one who has ever seen for certain has lived to tell about it), Gin reflected on what a great Evil day he’d had. When he fell asleep, he dreamed about Sherry. And death involved Sherry.

Such a wonderful dream.




PS. And you were all worried that I wouldn’t write anymore crack. PFFT! I actually scribbled out the basic schedule a long time ago, drawing inspiration from a couple of different sources (most prevalently Eddie Izzard). I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!

 
 
 
Dagron a.k.a. Nat': Black Orgdagronrat on December 29th, 2007 02:59 am (UTC)
"They one they were currently drinking" -y 8D ?

*Laughs and grins evilly* Now you've got me wondering whether I am a being of evil too, since my mornings of late have been all but those of a morning person. >3

Candyland: DC: Gincandyfics on January 4th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Whoops! Thanks!

*laugh* I'm not a morning person either. Far from it! But you're only a being of Evil if you have the Hair for it! And also possibly a gun with which to shoot people! ^_~

...you don't, do you?
Dagron a.k.a. Nat': Gin hates you - die!dagronrat on January 4th, 2008 08:14 pm (UTC)
Apart from this icon, I don't think so~ though my flatmate would argue my hair likes to go a little nuts in the mornings. XD

*huggles you and HAVE YOU SEEN The muffin man the second DC drama with Gin in it yet? :D*
Candyland: DC: Haibaracandyfics on January 4th, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
*laugh* Therefore, you are not Evil! :D I was going to be worried if you said yes regarding the gun comment o.o

And YES, I have seen the drama! Except I haven't watched the last ten minutes or so yet. Need to do that. But I was sort of stunned A) at the fact that it was not made of suck, and B) at how good they actually made Gin look, especially given how tough his character design probably was to transfer to reality :D :D :D
Dagron a.k.a. Nat': Akai Topsdagronrat on January 4th, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
Is now the good time to mention the presence of a Wii Zapper gun-thing in the same room as me? 8D *Rejoices in just being Chaotic then. X3*

A) It was made of brilliant. The 1st drama had 0 rewatch value for me. This one has bucket-loads. ♥

And SQUEEE for Gin-awesomeness. X3 Good luck watching the last ten minutes. >D
shubbimama: HITCHHIKER Giggle giggleshubbimama on December 29th, 2007 11:28 am (UTC)
Oh my god. You crack me of with all your evil-stuff! XD

(is sentenced to be killed tomorrow at 3:45 :p)
Candyland: DBZ2 [Chibi-Piccolo]candyfics on January 4th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! ...hope it's okay that the next one is going to be serious? *g*

*ties Gin's hair to the seat of his Porsche* There. Now you are safe! :D
M.O.N.A.: Bang bang - Cran_mouri82 on December 29th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
This makes me wonder what the "Quick Death" is like.

Maybe they use a grenade instead of drenching the place in gasoline. Or maybe they just feed the "deathee" poison.

o.o

THAT'S why they made the apotoxin! It's efficient!

(Great job! XD)
marsdejahthorismarsdejahthoris on December 30th, 2007 04:51 am (UTC)
Your icon makes me want to pounce and cuddle the Heiji. :)
Candyland: DC: Heijicandyfics on January 4th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
I envision the "Quick Death" as a...drive-by, maybe? They don't have to stop to clean up any evidence? *ponders* Unfortunately, the apotoxin wasn't efficient when he really needed it to be XD

Thanks, hon! *glomps you AND YOUR ICON*
marsdejahthorismarsdejahthoris on December 30th, 2007 04:53 am (UTC)
*dies laughing* Always glad to see the return of the crack, Candy, especially Izzard-inspired crack. This is, as usual, a wonderful story. :)
Candyland: DC: Kaitocandyfics on January 4th, 2008 05:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you! *BIG-GLOMP* :D ...should I worry if the next one's going to be SERIOUS? :O
Cherelle_Holmes: Hakuba Tea timecherelle_holmes on December 30th, 2007 03:30 pm (UTC)
THE AWESOMENESS!!!! So much evilness made me almost choke on my cookie! XD
YAY FOR THE EVIL-HAIR OF DOOM! (With maximum shininess!!!)

And if the ORG does not find the perfect tea, i'd say gin drinks simple BLACK tea! With no sugar or milk since that's manlier!
Candyland: DC: Gincandyfics on January 4th, 2008 05:05 pm (UTC)
...I want a cookie ;-;

*hugs you to pieces* Thanks, hon! :D And yes, I suspect that they are, in fact, drinking black tea ^_~
magic_truth: Nightmagic_truth on January 11th, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)
I love that Jazzercise is his choice of fitness routine, instead of like kick boxing.

He should try cardio-salsa dancing.
Candyland: DC: Yuusaku/Yukikocandyfics on January 14th, 2008 02:58 am (UTC)
If you'll remember, Jazzercise has appeared in another fic, mostly because I think it's a funny word ^.~

*snickers at the mental picture of Gin dancing, period*