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22 March 2007 @ 08:42 pm
I Wish You to the Cornfield, ch. 14 (DBZ)  
Title: I Wish You to the Cornfield
Fandom: Dragonball Z
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor (read that as CRACK)
Publish Date: 10/29/2002 to 1/5/2003
Disclaimer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I do not own DBZ.



"No destruction, no blowing things up, no ki blasts..." Candyland was off on a tirade as she exited the school building with Lauren holding onto her arm (AN: We can guide Lauren around when she holds onto our arms—it’s more practical then using her cane), Kathy walking next to her, and the Z senshi straggling along behind her, save Goten; the chibi was holding Lauren’s free hand and skipping along happily next to his dance partner, happy as could be. The author was going through a list of things that they weren’t allowed to do.

She finished as they reached her car. After loading her friends in, she turned to the Z fighters, and sighed. "There’s not enough room, so here’s what we’re gonna do. You guys are going to go down to the marching band field—"

"Where?" Goku asked.

The author suppressed the urge to smack him. "That place we were at this morning, where all the people with the instruments were?"

"Oh yeah!" the trademark Son Grin appeared.

Candyland rolled her eyes. "Anyway, you’re going to go down there and wait for me. If there are any, I repeat, any screw-ups...you will regret it."

All the Z senshi simultaneously realized that it would be very hazardous to their health to cross someone who could imitate ChiChi at her worst like that. Every single one of them had an individual idea dancing through their head of what would happen to them if they screwed up...and none of them were pretty. Several involved amputations, ki blasts, and being stuck in a never-ending Celtic dance class.

Satisfied that there would be no further trouble, Candyland opened the door, got into the car, pulled out of the parking spot, and drove off. Figuring that they’d better obey, the whole gang trouped down to the wide semi-grassy field where they’d landed that morning.

"Well, what are we supposed to do now?" Krillen asked.

"Who knows?" Eighteen leaned against the fence that made up one end of the field. It enclosed what appeared to be a large baseball or softball diamond.

"How much longer are we gonna hafta stay here?" Goku whined.

ChiChi smacked him on the back of the head. "As long as it takes. I want to go home as much as you do, but we’re not going to get there until Miss High-and-Mighty Author decides she has the time to write us there!"

"Don’t say that to her!" Gohan held out his hands in a warding gesture. "We don’t want to make her mad if we want to get back home."

"Gohan’s right," Bulma agreed. "We’ve just gotta put up with this for now. When we get back, we’ll try to plot some kind of revenge."

"Sounds good to me," Videl chimed in. "It can’t be much longer now."

Meanwhile, a little way away, in the middle of the field, Goten was describing his encounter with Lauren to a doubtful Trunks.

"I’m serious! She couldn’t see me at all, ‘cept when she used her hands," Goten proclaimed. "She had a really funny white stick that she said she used to help her get around so she doesn’t bump into stuff, and instead of words, she had some funny bumps on a piece of paper that she said she could read."

"Yeah, right," Trunks rolled his eyes at what he perceived to be his friend’s naivete in matters such as that. "I mean, let’s be serious Goten—how could a person not see? And you said her eyes were even open. She had to be able to see."

"But she couldn’t, Trunks! Honest!" Goten wailed angrily.

"I don’t believe you," the older boy crossed his arms stubbornly.

The boys argument finally drew the attention of an older person—namely, Gohan. "What are you two fighting about now?"

"Gohan, you saw her!" Goten realized.

"Saw who?" the teenager cocked his head to one side in confusion.

"Goten says there was a girl in that dance group thing that couldn’t see," Trunks sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. "I think he’s nuts."

"Actually, there was a blind girl in the choir, kiddo," Gohan informed the older chibi.

"Ha! Told ya so," Goten smirked, feeling vindicated. Trunks just gaped at them.

"Hey guys!" Krillen strolled over to join the smaller crowd. "Here’s the deal. From here on out, no trouble-making. The way we figure it, the better behaved we are, the faster that kid’ll write us home."

"Gotcha," the two chibis nodded fervently. Both of them wanted to get home.

As if on cue, a pair of headlights pulled up on the sidewalk at the top of the hill, and someone got out of the car. "Hey guys! Come on up!"

Instantly forgetting that they were supposed to behave like normal people, Goten and Trunks pushed off into flight and landed on the sidewalk by the author’s feet. Goten looked up at her and beamed. "Hey Mrs. Author-Lady. Where’d ya go?"

In spite of herself, Candyland smiled. "I had to drop a couple of my friends off at their houses. Then I grabbed icees and headed back. Here." She handed each chibi a Moutain Dew Freeze in a Kum-&-Go glass. "I’m addicted to these things."

"Cool!" Trunks chimed, immediately digging in. The rest of the adults arrived at the top of the hill, and they all looked expectantly at the author.

She handed them each a glass. "You’re lucky these things are cheap, and I really need a pick-me-up after the way this day has been going. Now you are all going to follow me back to my house, and no funny stuff."

Slurping away at their icees, the somewhat tired Z senshi obeyed, and followed Candyland home.