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22 March 2007 @ 08:54 pm
I Wish You to the Cornfield, ch. 17 (DBZ)  
Title: I Wish You to the Cornfield
Fandom: Dragonball Z
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor (read that as CRACK)
Publish Date: 10/29/2002 to 1/5/2003
Disclaimer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I do not own DBZ.



"I can’t take this anymore!" Vegeta growled, surging to his feet and into the air.

"Vegeta! Get down here!" Bulma screeched at him.

Goku also took to flight. "I actually side with Vegeta on this one. We’ve been hanging around here for hours now. Saiyans aren’t supposed to sit still for this long. We won’t do anything bad, we just need to move around a little."

"Wait a minute, you two!" ChiChi called. "I don’t think we can trust you. You’re taking us with you whether you like it or not, you understand me?"

Whipped as they were, the two Saiyans had no choice but to accept, and minutes later the entire DBZ cast was zipping through the air in exploration of the city. It was a good-sized place, but small compared to West City, and soon, the Saiyan members of the party became very bored. They wanted to fight! But sparring had been very specifically forbidden. So what could they do?

By the time they were done exploring, they were quite proud of themselves because they’d managed to check out the place without destroying too much. Yeah, they’d nearly knocked over that big obelisk thing (AN: a local monument), and when they’d gotten into that huge theatre, Goten and Trunks had nearly destroyed the enormous chandelier that hung over the balcony (but the security guys had really made too big a deal out of it!). But nothing had been permanently damaged!

Finally, tired of wandering and almost out of things to check out, the gang returned to the general area of Candyland’s house. It was then that they realized something very important—they had no idea where the author’s house was. This presented a tiny bit of a problem.

In desperation, Gohan had the idea that maybe they could sense the author’s ki. It was a long shot, but hey—at that point they were willing to try anything. But to Gohan’s surprise, when he extended a mental eye, he was stunned that he could pick up the author’s energy signature almost instantly. But it wasn’t like any of their kis, it was different.

"Maybe fanfiction writers have their own ki type," Bulma suggested as they zoomed towards the teenager’s location. It didn’t take long at all, and they ended up landing in the middle of a cluster of large buildings separated by grassy areas and sidewalks. Small groups of people were milling around; most of them gave our heroes weird glances before moving on.

"Where are we?" Goku asked; his face was twisted into the famous facial expression, the classic Goku-Look-of-Confusion (patent pending).

Eighteen looked around for a moment before offering her verdict. "It looks like a college campus."

"Wait," Gohan ventured. "Didn’t that girl say she had a college class in the afternoon?"

As if on cue, the author appeared on the sidewalk nearby. She looked at them in something similar to horror before clasping a hand over her eyes and groaning, "Oh no!"

The Goku-Look-of-Confusion vanished from the Saiyan’s face to be replaced by the famous Son Grin. "Hey! We found you!"

"I noticed," Candyland sighed. "Gods...what did I do to deserve this?"

"Shouldn’t have been writing those stories," Piccolo answered smugly.

She glared at him. "Thank you, Mr. Smart-Aleck." Then she turned her attention to the rest of the crew. "Oh man, I know I’m gonna regret this, but just come up to class with me. You will behave, or so help me, I swear by all that is holy—"

"Calm down. It’s okay," Gohan said soothingly, putting a hand on the now-stressed teenager’s shoulder. "We made it through the morning without anything happening. Why can’t we make it through the afternoon as well?"

She calmed down and smiled thankfully at the demi-Saiyan. Some odd corner of her mind noticed that he was actually not too bad-looking. And only a year older than her...oh well. There were two problems. A) Videl’s territory. B) anime character. (AN: I’m seventeen and a little bit boy-crazy. So sue me, okay!) "Well, let’s get to class," Candyland led the way into a nearby building, made of dark brown bricks. They went up a few flights of stairs and into a classroom.

-o-


Half an hour later...


KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!

Out of the rubble that had once been a building of college classrooms came several loud voices, and the joyous sound of frying pans making some serious contact with Saiyan skulls.

"VEGETA!" Candyland roared, chasing the arrogant prince down with Bulma’s Almighty Frying Pan of Death. "COME BACK HERE!"

Vegeta chose to ignore her, but continued running, not just from the teenager, but from the rest of the Z senshi, who were somewhat put out about having a building blown up while they were still in it.

Some odd, detached corner of Krillen’s mind noticed that Candyland could move far faster than most normal humans. In fact, she actually caught up to Vegeta, and proceeded to give the Saiyan the thrashing of his life with the Frying Pan of Terror. They actually had to pry her off of him, and she calmed down, though unwillingly. (AN: I have a tendency to freak out over things ^-^)

Though she would not again beat the arrogant Saiyan Prince with a cast-iron kitchen implement, Candyland spent the rest of the day giving Vegeta death-glares worthy of Vegeta himself.

She ordered them all back to her house; they followed in the air while she drove on the ground with Bulma and ChiChi. It was to the point where she was getting used to the weird looks people were giving the entourage.

Half an hour later, Candyland announced that they were going back up to the high school for the football team’s pep assembly. They had a big away game that night, and this was the send-off.

And so it came to pass that the Z senshi were once again carted off to Candyland’s high school, bracing themselves for whatever this ‘pep assembly’ thing would bring. At this point, they honestly thought that anything might be possible.