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19 August 2008 @ 02:21 am
Unable to Breathe (Fanfic100)  
Title: Unable to Breathe
Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: Shinichi/Ran (General series)
Prompt: #11—red
Word Count: 1222 words
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: There was a red thread of fate there. She could see it. And yet… Shinichi/Ran



From the time she was very young, Ran knew that her feelings for Shinichi were different from the feelings she held for other people and more importantly, other boys. Granted, she had known Shinichi her entire life, so there was a history there that was much different than with the others.

But it was something else, too. He was different from others. He was smarter, more polite, more polished. He knew things the others did not, and it showed in the very way he spoke and carried himself. A lot of that was his family, though. His parents were both famous and highly cultured people, and they were teaching him much of what they knew.

…granted, Shinichi was also a good deal more arrogant than the other boys she knew.

But somehow, it did not bother her as much as it might have if it were anyone else because Ran had seen what lay under that ego, the real Shinichi. They were things that became more and more evident to her as they grew up, still together. Things that she doubted anyone else would notice, anyone who knew him to a lesser degree than she did.

Shinichi was brilliant, cultured, and he knew how to carry himself in a way that made everyone take him seriously, even adults. He was a rising star on the soccer field, and could hold his own against players older and more seasoned than himself. The image he presented was bordering on perfect, the very picture of capability and talent. Beneath that façade, though, lay a very different young man.

That was the boy who had gotten his next door neighbor (a scientist and inventor) to modify the back of his closet to include a hidden compartment where he could hide cat food for the cats he secretly kept in their back yard, knowing his father would probably not approve.

That was the boy who could converse with any number of people about any number of topics, but could rarely find the words to voice his feelings to those close to him.

That was the boy who would tease her to no end, but be the first one to offer her a willing ear and a sometimes slightly less willing but still readily available shoulder when things got bad for her.

That was the boy who presented the most confident face in the world, but who in private moments was one of the shyest, most insecure nerds she had ever met in her life.

He was a walking enigma of sorts, a puzzle not unlike the ones he took such pleasure in solving.

There was a strange feeling of power in knowing that she knew such things about him, things that no one else was aware existed. But at the same time, what would she do with those things? And they were best friends, and best friends did not tell such secrets.

…no. They were not best friends.

There was something else there.

It was like the fairy tales she had grown up hearing, of how the fair maiden fell in love with the knight, or the old story about the red string of fate that tied two people together when they were destined to be.

Long before they started high school, Ran was already sure of her feelings.

What she wasn’t sure of was him. How did he feel?

Time and time again she could have asked, and time and time again she faltered and failed. And each time, she glanced down at her little finger, and swore she saw the red string tied there, and decided that it would be all right, it would come in time, and she just had to be patient.

…and then, during their second year of high school, Shinichi vanished.

If Conan hadn’t fallen into her life then, she might not have made it for as long as she had. But the little boy now in her care gave her something to focus on, someone to mother and worry about and put her attention on, as well as someone to talk to and confide in about her missing friend.

In short, she had been blessed to receive both a distraction and a confidante in one small body.

But still, she couldn’t help but wonder about Shinichi and what had happened to him. She still did not know how he felt about her, or if he even felt anything for her at all. Oh, she was sure he did, but there was a difference between a man’s love of a friend, his love of a sister, and his love of a woman. Three very different, very distinct types of love, and while she was sure that she held at least one of them, she did not know which it was.

During private moments, she would glance down at her hand and she would again see the red thread tied there. But it was killing her to not know where the other end went. The other end was tied around someone else’s hand, and that someone was far away. She wished there was a way to follow the thread to that person and learn the truth at last, but some wishes did not want to come true for her.

It hurt desperately to lose both her best friend and her love. And in some of her darker moments, she let herself bear a new wish: that she might cut the thread and be done with the whole thing, be free of the pain and the worry and the uncertainty. It was entirely possible that she was waiting for someone who did not want her and would not come back to her.

…or she could be waiting for the true love of her life, and if she would just be patient a little longer, the rewards would far eclipse the ache she had been living with since that day at Tropical Land.

He would call, and they would talk. He always sounded so lonely. On rare occasions, he would even admit to it, admit that he missed her and he wished he could come home and see her again. But for both their sakes, he said, he could not do that yet. Just a little longer.

A little longer…

Those phone calls calmed her, gave her a reason to keep holding on to hope. He was lonely, and he wanted to see her. But for her sake, he couldn’t. The statement frightened her as to all the possible interpretations it brought, but she could never bring herself to ask exactly what he meant by it. The uncertainty of it all hurt.

She was frightened for him, and for herself, sometimes to the point where she was unable to breathe. But she had Conan to care for, and her father, and her friends. She put on her happiest face for them, no matter how hard it was to do, and went about her life as best she could.

And so Ran waited for him, patient as ever. Yet she would inevitable find herself clinging desperately to that red thread of fate as her final connection to the man she had given her heart to. The red thread of fate was her bond to Shinichi.

Even though sometimes she felt like it was strangling her.



PS. This entire fic spawned from that last line. It hit me at work, and it wouldn’t let go, so I wrote it. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading, all! Much love!

 
 
 
M.O.N.A.: Drama Shin/Ran - DCran_mouri82 on August 19th, 2008 03:14 pm (UTC)
This was lovely. It was romantic angst without the uber, "Oh, woe is me!" edge to it that some people include. It might be nice to trim the length; that could give the fic more potency. But the tone is great and walks that tightrope of canon introspection--or is it a red thread? *shotshot*
Candyland: DC: Rancandyfics on August 24th, 2008 03:28 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! *will not admit to being currently obsessed with word counts, not at all--KILLED* Glad you liked it :D
asai_arcionasai_arcion on August 19th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)

.. I can't even put into words how great this is. It's fics like these that make me grateful I found this fandom and your fics. Your ability to take such a simple prompt, a theme comm and a plotline and make something like this.

It would be interesting to see the opposite end of this thread, both metaphorically and realistically. Can Shinichi/Conan see the thread? Is it strangling him too?
Candyland: DC: Conan/Rancandyfics on August 24th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
0.0 Thank you so much! Wow, that's a really amazing compliment! I'm very glad that you enjoyed the story~

Hmm...that is an interesting thought... *ponders* Although in the omake of movie one, he doesn't have a red thread while he's Conan ^_~
marsdejahthorismarsdejahthoris on August 19th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
... Okay, first of all, lovely story. I need to get that said right off, or I'll forget in the squeeage to follow. You have an astonishing way with word patterns that never fails to amaze me.

That said... I keep thinking of the TV Tropes entry, "Strangled By The Red String" for this...
Candyland: DC: Shinichi/Ran (I can't say)candyfics on August 24th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
Thank you, lady! :D It makes me happy that you liked it \o/

...I am not familiar with that o.o *vows reseach*
marsdejahthorismarsdejahthoris on August 24th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
ACK! No writer should be unfamiliar with TV Tropes.

tvtropes.org.

You must go. It's a Wiki of all sorts of tropes used by media since time immemorial. It will change the way you see, read, and write stories. It will eat your vocabulary and your brain, and you will LIKE it. :)