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01 April 2010 @ 12:51 pm
No Little Plans, ch. 2.5 (DC/MK)  
Title: No Little Plans
Fandom: Detective Conan
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama/Mystery
Wordcount: 1,777
Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan. But I do have homemade hand-puppets for each character...that's normal, right?
Summary: Sequel to A Perfect Act. There's a killer on the loose, with an very odd MO. Helping with the investigation means that Kaito might need to watch his back. THIS CHAPTER WAS AN APRIL FOOL'S PRANK!



It was, to say the least, a bit of a shock when Kaito answered the knock on the door and found one Kudo Shinichi standing there. While he was normally pretty good about keeping his expressions under wraps (good ol' Poker Face rarely let him down), but the average person would register some sort of surprise at an unexpected visitor at such an hour - after all, the clock had just alerted Kaito to the lovely hour of one o'clock in the morning.

So he allowed that flicker of surprise. "Kudo, what're you doing here?" He gave himself a mental shake. "Sorry, it's late and I'm tired and my manners are usually the first thing to go. Come on in." He stepped aside to let the detective pass before closing and locking the door behind him. "I'm guessing that this is related to the case?"

Kudo quickly and silently slipped off his shoes and followed Kaito into the main room. "I guess you could say that…" Shinichi murmured in response. He took the appointed seat on the couch and waved off an offer of beverage or snack, for which Kaito was admittedly grateful. After all, he honestly was getting tired.

"What's up?" Kaito asked. He liked the detective and had enjoyed their conversation that afternoon, but this was just odd.

"Remember how I said I was sure I had met you somewhere before?"

"Yes. You were quite emphatic on that point."

"Well, I kept thinking about it," Kudo shifted in his seat, then seemed to change his mind and stood up. "And I still haven't remembered exactly where I met you. But the side effect is that, um…" He hesitated, then changed his mind and fell silent, hands hanging loosely at his sides.

"…side effect?" Kaito asked, genuinely confused.

"Bad choice of words, I think," Kudo murmured, more to himself than for Kaito's benefit.

"You have completely and totally lost me."

Kudo lifted his arms slightly, then dropped them again. Then he squared his shoulders almost inperceptibly, stalked forward to close the distance between them, grabbed Kaito by the arms…and proceeded to give him what could arguably be called the best kiss of his life.

And Kaito was too stunned to react until well after it had become the best kiss of his life, at which point he wasn't entirely sure that he actually wanted to react.

Kudo (should he maybe be calling him Shinichi now, he wondered, in light of the circumstances?) didn't seem to mind his lack of initial response, though he did pull back just a hair, enough to mumble against Kaito's lips, "Means I've been thinking about you all goddamn day," before resuming his teasing.

Aoko.

Aoko's face flickered through Kaito's mind. He was with her. He loved her. And this was--

His tired mind's last vestige of self control fell away and shattered as Kudo's hands joined the party, and then he was lost.

…maybe he wasn't as tired as he'd initally thought.

-o-


When Kaito next roused to consciousness, he immediately knew that something was wrong, before he even opened his eyes. For starters, he couldn't move. Attempts to shift his arms and legs proved fruitless, and if the slightly painful sensation was any indication, he was bound at the wrists and ankles, his hands behind his back; the surface underneath him was hard and flat, which meant he was not in his own bed.

The other thing that sent up all sorts of bright flashing warning lights behind his eyes was that his head felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. The whole world felt extremely fuzzy, like he wasn't completely at one with reailty just yet. His mouth was dry and there was an odd aftertaste, and despite feeling rather warm, he felt chilled enough that shivers were rippling their way down his back. All these points added up to one disturbing conclusion.

He had been drugged.

Kaito desperately pushed at the fog in his mind in an attempt to recall the events of the night before, to see if he could remember at what point he might have been drugged, and who might have done it to him. What the hell had happened?

Oh, right. Kudo had come over and they had…

Kaito stopped that thought before it could get started. He wasn't entirely sure what he had been thinking, but while it had been quite an enjoyable experience (very, very enjoyable), there was not going to be a repeat. Not a chance.

…but Kudo was the only person Kaito could remember seeing the night before. He had let the detective into his house, and they had spent some, err, quality time together, and Kaito had fallen asleep. As the haze in his mind lifted, Kaito realized that unless someone else had snuck in during the night, there was only one culprit.

"You're awake."

A smooth, familiar tenor, so similar to Kaito's own. The words it spoke were not a question, but a statement.

Kaito finally dared to open his eyes, blinking against even the dim light in the room, wherever they were. Sure enough, Kudo Shinichi was standing over him, looking far too calm for the situation. Far too calm for Kaito's tastes, at least.

He also quickly noted his surroundings, a habit he had picked up early on in his career as a thief. They were on a stage somewhere, though Kaito couldn't see enough to even attempt a guess as to what auditorium they were in. But the scuffed hardwood floor combined with the curtains he could see by twisting his head to look back over his shoulder were more than enough for him to make an adequate judgement of his surroundings.

"Kudo," he said as calmly as he could manage, and was immediately appalled at the raspy noise that made its way out of his mouth and called itself his voice. He swallowed hard, cleared his throat, swallowed again, and tried that one more time. "Kudo, where are we? What's going on?"

"You're not an easy one to corner, you know that?" Kudo said with that same infuriating indifference. Like he didn't have Kaito bound and semi-helpless at his feet. "Though I have no complaints about the method that ended up working. No complaints at all, Kuroba." The first hint of emotion from Kudo came in the form of a very slight smirk. "I must say, though, I thought it would actually be more difficult than it utimately was. I never once expected you to walk right into my hands."

Kaito started shifting, carefully tugging at his bonds in an attempt to wriggle loose. His mind was still trying to catch up with things, complicating the process, but he figured it wouldn't hurt to try. But to his surprise, the bindings were expertly wrapped and the knots were expertly tied. This wouldn't be easy to escape from, no question about that. "I don't understand."

Kudo moved just out of Kaito's line of sight, though he did answer the question. "I guess I didn't think it would work out like this." There was a rustling sound. "Taking care of both Kuroba Toichi's son AND the immortal Kaitou Kid in one fell swoop? I must have gotten lucky this time."

Something inside Kaito went cold. "What are you talking about? Kudo, untie me."

"Not yet," Kudo moved back into Kaito's range of vision. There was a plastic bag in his hands, and a roll of duct tape around his wrist, erasing Kaito's last doubts about what was going on.

"Kudo, you…" Kaito tried to say something, but the words died in his mouth when his mind failed to form a coherent argument. He was still foggy from the drugs (Kudo must have hit him with something after he'd dozed off and then moved him here), and that combined with the expert bindings were proving a tough nut to crack. Oh god, he was going to die here…

At the hands of the world's least likely serial killer.

Finally, as Kudo was kneeling down next to him, Kaito managed to choke out a question. "Why?"

Kudo smiled. "You said it yourself. A detective is nothing but a critic. So think of this, Kuroba, as the ultimate critique." Seemingly satisfied with himself, he slipped the bag over Kaito's head and taped it around his neck.

Between the limited air and the encroaching panic, it didn't take long for Kaito to start feeling light-headed. He struggled against his bonds, desperate to get loose, but in all too short a time his ears started to burn and the edges of his vision grew blurry. He could feel his pulse pounding in his temple and oh god whose death was he going to be set up to emulate would it be his dad's he hoped not he couldn't handle that oh god oh god oh god…

Just before Kuroba Kaito lost consciousness for the final time, Kudo leaned down and whispered something into Kaito's ear. The last words he would ever hear, and they shocked Kaito to the core.

"…NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND…"



PS. APRIL FOOL'S! YOU'VE ALL BEEN FIC-ROLLED!

A reviewer asked if there would be any Kaito/Shinichi in this fic. It wound up sparking this prank chapter 8D No, this is not what actually happens - the real chapter is almost done and should hopefully be posted within another week or so.

…and now a few of you are coming towards me. Holding things that look suspiciously like bricks. Umm…gotta go now bye! *RUNS LIKE THE WIND*


 
 
 
Oujo-sama: gasp2akumugan on April 1st, 2010 03:37 pm (UTC)
...damn...I've been fooled. my face was like this D8 the entire time. i am so shocked at the joke there is not room for proper grammar and stuff. aside from punctuation. holy crap...*is stunned*...I'll brick you later for your cruel joke.
Oujo-sama: Lawakumugan on April 1st, 2010 07:20 pm (UTC)
/has calmed down now

|< *throws brick*
Candyland: Misc [Love this fandom]candyfics on April 2nd, 2010 03:30 pm (UTC)
*is killed by the brick and never finishes the story...or writes the sequel(s)*
Oujo-samaakumugan on April 2nd, 2010 05:04 pm (UTC)
*You don't get killed by the brick because my aim sucks...and hits your foot instead*
Candyland: DC: Eri/Kogorocandyfics on April 6th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC)
*foot is broken, which keeps me bedridden and thus, away from my keyboard* ;___;
Oujo-sama: all right!akumugan on May 22nd, 2010 09:32 pm (UTC)
why is this mega late?
*man made something called crutches, hop to it!*
Candyland: KH [Trio]candyfics on April 2nd, 2010 03:30 pm (UTC)
I'm just heartless, aren't I? *is struck down by a Keyblade wielder*
Oujo-samaakumugan on April 2nd, 2010 05:03 pm (UTC)
xD Hahaha!
Candyland: DBZ2 [Chibi-Piccolo]candyfics on April 6th, 2010 08:11 pm (UTC)
*dead*
lumineceluminece on April 2nd, 2010 08:40 pm (UTC)
Ha! That's a good prank.

Of course, the ending four paragraphs are the tip-off. Still, you manage to write awesome stuff for an April's Fool joke.

I look forward to the -real- next chapter. ^_^
Candyland: Plunniecandyfics on April 6th, 2010 08:10 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I was torn between doing a really obvious joke (everything in net-speak, poor grammar, etc.) or trying to make it seem serious-ish. I already knew it was going to end with a fic-roll, though XDD

Glad you...err...aren't throwing things at me ^^;; I'll hopefully have the real chapter done and up soon!
ylvgloylvglo on July 7th, 2012 11:06 pm (UTC)
*snickers* Awesome joke.