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19 March 2007 @ 08:29 pm
Reality Bites, ch. 8 (DBZ)  
Title: Reality Bites, Chapter 8
Fandom: Dragonball Z
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor
Publish Date: 8/2/2002 to 8/9/2002
Disclaimer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I do not own DBZ.



Ten minutes later, the entire Z gang gathered in the garden again.

"Yummy! I just love these Mountain Dew freezes from Kum & Go!" Goku said loudly, slurping something through a straw.

"Yeah, these Mountain Dew icees are fantastic!" Yamcha added, stirring the yellowish-green mixture around his cup with his straw. "I wonder if anyone out there might want a Mountain Dew freeze."

A teenage girl with short brown hair with blond highlights came running by, wearing khakis, a brown striped tank top, and brown slides, with a notebook under her arm. She grabbed the icee out of Vegeta’s hand and drank half of it in one slurp. It was only then that she turned and looked at the startled and confused fighters.

She grinned. "Hi guys! I’m Candyland!" She then proceeded to guzzle the rest of the icee while Vegeta gave her his best death glare, angry over being deprived of his slushee. She proved to be quite adept at ignoring him.

"YOU’RE CANDYLAND?!?" Bulma screeched. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!?!?!?"

"I wrote you guys into Reality," she responded cheerfully, grabbing another icee from Chichi. "That’s all. It’s nothing serious. You’re in one of my stories."

"Who was that kid who ran through here a few minutes ago?" Yamcha asked.

"Oh, that’s a guy I go to school with," the author replied, frowning slightly. "He used to be a pal of mine, but then he got to be really annoying. There’s another kid I wanted to use, but he probably would’ve tried to pet Vegeta and then Vegeta would’ve blown him up, and I really wanted Saibamen with knives in my story, so there ya have it."

"PUT US BACK IN OUR WORLD RIGHT NOW!!!!" Vegeta roared. "DO YOU HEAR ME?"

Candyland smiled. "Oh Veggie, you make me giggle!"

The Saiyan Prince looked thoroughly insulted. "Prepare to meet your end," he hissed, crouching into a fighting stance.

"Oh, I don’t think so," the author pulled the notebook out from under her arm poised a pen over the paper, ready to write. "Let’s see here…what to do about Vegeta…wait! I know!!"

Cackling to herself, she scribbled something on the paper in the notebook. Everyone stared at her with curiousity, Vegeta momentarily forgotten.

"There!" she finished with a grin. "Take a look at ol’ Veggie now!"

Everyone turned back to see the Prince of all Saiyans now dressed in a pink leotard, tutu, tights, and ballet slippers with a sparkling plastic tiara on his head and a matching wand in his hand. Vegeta looked ready to explode.

"Don’t make me write something else Vegeta!" the author warned. "I can put you in a ballet next. Or better yet…maybe I’ll make you fall in love with Goku!"

Vegeta stared at her for a second, then turned and ran into the house, screaming at the top of his lungs. Candyland looked quite satisfied. "Hmph. Next time I’ll write some Pokemon into the story. All right now, it seems like something’s missing…I know! My favorite character!" she once again starting writing in the notebook.

Seconds later, a very disgruntled-looking Piccolo appeared out of nowhere.

He stared around at his new surrounds for a moment before noticing everyone else. "Um…does anyone know what’s going on?"

Gohan very quickly filled him in.

"So we’re in Reality now, huh?" the Namekian thought carefully for a minute. "How does everything that’s happened so far fit into Reality?"

Candyland smiled. "Simple. In Reality, people can’t fly, and no one is strong enough to lift cars and buses, and people can’t shoot energy blasts out of their hands. Cars don’t fly, you can’t make things appear by pressing a little button on a capsule and throwing it on the ground, watches don’t contain disguises, people can’t see unless they open their eyes (AN: Mrs. Briefs), people only have two eyes, mimes and animals can’t talk and people don’t have blue or purple hair. It doesn’t exist! Plus, your Saiyan hairdos would be completely impossible unless you use hair gel or mousse or hairspray or something," she shrugged. "I just wrote that everything that isn’t possible in my world doesn’t exist here."

"Um," Trunks spoke up softly from under his hood. "Do ya think you could put us back? Please?"

The author sighed. "I dunno…I’m having a pretty good time with this…"

Goten looked up at her with his best puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

She looked down and smiled. "Okay, my second favorite character has just given me sad puppy dog eyes. I’ll send you guys back…"

While everyone cheered, Candyland turned around, cupped her hands around her mouth, and called out a single word. "Kiwi!!"

Everyone stopped celebrating and stared at her. "Kiwi?" Videl asked. "Why are you looking for a fruit at a time like this?"

The author ignored her and called again. This time, a tired-looking Saibaman came runnning into the garden. "Ah! There you are, Kiwi!" She knelt down beside the little green creature. "Okay, we hafta send ‘em back to their world. Can ya do that for me?"

The short monster nodded and turned its red eyes on the Z gang.

"What are you gonna do?" Piccolo asked.

"Simple enough. Kiwi’s gonna send you back," she stood up. "Okay Kiwi! Reality Spores!"

The Saibaman’s head opened up and a cloud of spores shot out of hit, hitting everyone before they could move. A few coughs were heard, but within seconds everyone was feeling themselves falling…falling…