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09 April 2007 @ 10:17 pm
For Whom the Phone Rings (DC)  
Title: For Whom the Phone Rings
Fandom: Detective Conan
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor
Publish Date: 9/24/2005 through 12/24/2006 (in Short Stack Stories)
Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan. But I do have homemade hand-puppets for each character...that's normal, right?



Kuroba Kaito was accustomed hearing other people’s voices coming out of his own mouth.

It was part of his job, after all. Kaitou Kid was widely known to be both a master of disguise and an accomplished actor, able to impersonate anyone. Vocal impressions were part and parcel to that, just another part of the act.

He was not, however, used to hearing his own voice coming from anywhere else.

Like, say, on the phone. While he was talking with Aoko, no less.

“For the last time, Aoko, I had nothing to do with that!” he insisted, referring to the latest incident at school. And for once, it was the truth—the pink elephants in the cafeteria had been entirely Koizumi’s doing. As funny as it had been to watch his classmates freak out and swear they hadn’t been drinking, it was not his doing, and as such, he had no intention of taking the fall for it.

“Whenever you say ‘I didn’t do it,’ it makes me laugh,” Aoko admitted with a sigh.

“I like it when you laugh.”

Kaito was startled enough by the intrusion—that was his voice, but he certainly wasn’t saying such things, not to Aoko!—to jerk the phone away from his ear and stare at it with wide eyes before putting it back against his head to hear Aoko’s response.

“…w-what?” she stuttered, surprised out of her irritation.

“I like it when you laugh,” the Voice repeated.

Kaito’s jaw was currently hanging somewhere around his ankles.

“Aoko, I’ve been thinking,” the Voice went on, in a perfect imitation of Kaito’s own mannerisms; the tone held juuuuust the right amount of nerves to be convincing, “and I was wondering if…maybe you’d want to, ya know…go out sometime? For real?”

And Kaito was too dumbfounded to interject—he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to—as he listened in shock. And there was some morbid little part of him that was desperately curious to see what her response was going to be…

Apparently, he wasn’t the only stunned one here—Aoko was stammering like mad. Finally, she managed to eke out a few coherent words. “Like…a date?” she asked uncertainly. He could picture her in his mind, clutching the phone with both hands, eyes wide as…something very wide!!

“Yeah, like a date,” the Voice affirmed.

Aoko went extremely quiet on the other end of the line. The silence stretched on long enough for Kaito to wonder if she’d fainted or something.

Until she answered. “S-sure…”

It was fortunate that no one was around to see Kaito at that moment. Because Poker Face had officially gone bye-bye. Not to mention that his heart was going faster than Michael Flatley’s best routine.

“Great!” the Voice cheered, tinged with a hint of relief. The impression was flawless, Kaito had to admit that much. “I gotta go, but I’ll call you later to work out the details, okay? See ya later!”

“I’ll see you later,” Aoko stammered softly, sounding torn between happiness and embarrassment; he could actually hear her blushing. “Bye.” The call disconnected, and Kaito pulled back to once again glare at the receiver in horror. What the hell had just happened here?

Of course, he was sort of reeling from a couple of things. First, the fact that the mysterious Voice had succeeded in infiltrating his phone conversation. Secondly, the fact that Aoko had actually accepted the Voice’s proposal of a date made in his name.

And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that there was only one possible culprit.

Dropping the phone back into its cradle, he frowned and thought for a moment about what the best course of action was to take. He wound up just picking the phone back up and dialing a number from memory, putting it back to his ear and waiting, drumming his fingers impatiently on the desk.

It rang once, twice, three times.

Finally, the other end picked up. “Hello?” a childish voice responded.

“What did you just do?!?” Kaito snapped.

When the person on the other end answered, the voice had lost all traces of childishness save for pitch. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” was the reply. The speaker wasn’t even attempting to mask his laughter.

“Dammit, Kudo, what did you think you were doing?” Kaito demanded again.

Kudo Shinichi, alias Edogawa Conan, was now laughing outright into the phone. “Helping you out, courtesy of the voice changer. I swear, you’re as hopeless as Hattori, you know that?”

“I resent that,” Kaito grumbled.

“You have less excuse than Hattori, if anything,” Conan pointed out with his usual logic. “You jump off sky-scrapers for fun and profit, but you have yet to work up the nerve to ask your girlfriend to a movie. This makes very little sense to me.”

“Aoko’s not my girlfriend,” Kaito said automatically. He really wasn’t quite sure he was complaining so much—he’d gotten something decent out of the deal. But pride demanded that he at least put up some argument. “And I don’t see you making any moves on your own girl, pal.”

“…I’m seven,” Conan replied. “That’s a felony. Besides, once I get back to normal, I will do something about it—even if it means she kills me on the spot. You. Have. No. Excuses.”

Kaito shook his head. “Why do I let you continue to breathe?”

“Because you don’t hurt people, and Ran would then kill you on the spot,” he said airily. “Well, I have to go. Don’t forget to call her and set this up. Have fun on your date!” And he hung up, leaving Kaito to the phone singing at him.

Beep, beep, beep…

 
 
 
2degrees on January 17th, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)
bwahahahaahahaha xDxD *wheezes*
that was very entertaining, I'd love to see Kaito wearing that expression when he hears his own voice.

and I especially love this part..
“…I’m seven,” Conan replied.

You're awesome 8)
Candylandcandyfics on January 20th, 2009 01:08 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! \o/
reighostreighost on July 27th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
LOL PWNED! XD ? >o< that was a fun read!
Candyland =^.^=: kaitou kid grincandy__chan on July 29th, 2009 01:26 am (UTC)
*too lazy to change accounts* Thank you very much! :D Glad you liked it!