Pairing: Kudo Shinichi/Mouri Ran
Fandom: Detective Conan
Rating: PG-13 (for a tiny bit of suggestive dialogue)
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Gosho Aoyama. I claim none, I merely borrow them and dress them up in frilly smocks and make them dance to my ever-changing will like the puppets they are.
Summary: This is the stuff they really should be teaching us in school!
“You know what I don’t get?”
…well, that wasn’t quite what Shinichi was expecting. He lowered the book he was reading to his chest and arched his back enough so that he was looking up at Ran, sitting on the arm of the couch—she seemed upside down from his odd vantage point, sprawled on his back across the entire sofa. “Okay, where the hell did that come from?”
Ran was silent for a moment, twirling the lollipop in between her fingers before she replied, “Well, I just don’t get it.” She raised an eyebrow at him and popped the red candy on a stick back into her mouth. It was cherry-flavored, he guessed, based solely on the way it was dying her mouth and tongue a bright scarlet color.
Immediately, Shinichi’s mind gleefully started skimming through entire lists of possibilities as to where he could go from there. He did, however, manage to keep himself in check. “Why don’t you share with the class, and we’ll see if we can’t clear up some of this confusion?”
“Well, for starters, who came up with the whole idea of it?” Ran asked, her words a bit muffled by the lollipop stuck in the corner of her mouth. “Who thought up this idea that people could show affection to each other by pressing their lips together?”
Shinichi snickered. “Well, if you wanted to go that route, you could also ask who came up with the idea of kissing other—“ He was cut off as Ran picked up a pillow and smacked him in the face with it.
“Kissing is with the lips,” she said haughtily, “not the tongue or the pelvis, thank you very much.”
“Hmm…” he reined himself in and genuinely thought about her question, “I honestly don’t know where it started. I don’t know if anyone does—it’s one of those things that’s been lost to history, I guess.”
Ran withdrew the lollipop from her mouth and lapped at it innocently, ignoring the fact that Shinichi’s face had gone as red as the candy. “All right, let’s say that it’s been around forever. But then whose brilliant idea was it to add that whole tongue thing in there?”
Shinichi raised an eyebrow; he was still looking at her upside down, but he’d put his hands behind his head for a more comfortable reclining pose. “Well, I know it’s sometimes called French kissing, so one could assume that it was a French invention.”
“But how exactly is it supposed to work?”
“…you just lost me,” Shinichi frowned. In truth, though, his mind was racing almost as fast as his heart was pounding. This was a topic that had haunted his dreams for many a year…
“Does anyone actually know how to do it right? Like, really right?” she wondered out loud, and he forced himself to push his little fantasies to the back of his mind and refocus. “Heck, the whole kissing thing seems pretty ambiguous to me. Nobody really tells you much beyond ‘go mash mouths.’” She slumped against the back of the couch, returning the lollipop to its home in the side of her mouth. “This is the stuff they should be teaching us in school!”
Shinichi was silent. He hadn’t actually worked up the nerve to kiss her yet. Granted, he wasn’t exactly brilliant when it came to women, but Ran had pretty much just sent up a whole fireworks show that spelled out the world CLUE in the sky. God, even Hattori could have picked up on this one!
…he made a mental note to call Kazuha later and offer a friendly suggestion. It had certainly gotten his attention, and Hattori did need all the help he could get. But back to the topic at hand.
Swinging his legs off the couch, he sat up and set his book aside. “Surely you can’t be serious.”
“I’m totally serious,” Ran said airily before she grinned. “And don’t call me Shirley.”
Should’ve seen that coming, Shinichi privately lamented his idiotic choice of words. But a smile crossed his face in short order. “All right,” he stood up suddenly and marched over to stand in front of her. “All right!” His hands reached down and grabbed hers and pulled her to her feet. “Let’s figure this out. Right now.” He did take a moment, though, to admire how adorable Ran looked, with her eyes all wide and surprised, and that lollipop stick hanging out of her mouth.
“What’re we doing now?” she asked.
“We’re going to work through this kiss dilemma and see if we can answer your question,” he said firmly. Ignoring Ran’s now bewildered look, he cracked his knuckles and grinned. “Okay, first…first, you’re going to hafta lose the candy.”
Ran stared at him. “You’re…serious?”
“Totally,” he said. “And I’ll even let you call me Shirley.”
She smiled at the jibe and removed the offending candy, returning it to its wrapper and setting it aside for later. But as she did so, Shinichi could have sworn he head her murmur that sounded suspiciously like, “He got the hint” under her breath.
“Okay, what’s first?” he asked.
“Well, I guess where you put your arms?” Ran suggested. “Need to be standing close together…” They moved so there was almost no space between their torsos. “Now, the girl usually puts her arms up here…” she reached up and slid her arms around his neck.
“So my arms would go here?” he asked as his hands slowly snaked their way around to find a comfortable resting place on her lower back. “Is that okay?” For some reason, his voice chose that moment to drop about an octave and a half.
“Yes, I think that’s right,” she breathed, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a shiver. “Okay, then…where do our your noses go so nobody ends up all bloody?” Ran went on, feeling the blush rising. She felt…well, kind of silly, but at the same time, it was awfully nice to be this close…
“Well, one of us goes one way, one of us goes the other way so they kind of move around each other,” Shinichi said, leaning a bit closer and tilting his head, feeling his heart rate jump through the roof…
Unfortunately, Ran had tilted in the same direction, and they crashed into each other.
“Oww…” Ran instinctively jerked her head back and removed one arm from his neck to move her hand to her nose with the intent of checking for any signs that it was no longer in one piece.
Shinichi did much the same thing. “I thought we were trying to not do that,” he rubbed at his own nose, then grinned. “I see lots and lots of pretty stars…” Apparently satisfied that nothing was broken, his hand returned to her back.
“Okay, let’s try that again,” Ran laughed sheepishly, imitating his move in returning her hand to its previous position. “How about we discuss this first? You go to your right, I’ll go to mine.” A tiny gasp escaped her as the hand on her back suddenly applied pressure to pull her right up against him.
He nodded, and obligingly turned his head. Hers did the same in response, and they inched closer together, until their noses slid past each other. It was there that they stopped, and the first real inklings of uncertainty manifested themselves.
“…now what?” Shinichi whispered; his breath was warm. And minty, it was minty too. He had good taste in toothpaste. “This is your project. So lead on, captain, my captain.”
“Well…” Ran replied nervously as she swallowed hard; thinking was proving to be a bit of a challenge. “We’ve got the hands in the right place, we’re not going to break our noses against each other…so I guess next would be the actual kiss, right?”
“I suppose so…” his tone was even, but the hands on her back trembled ever so slightly.
“For a first kiss, how hard of a kiss should it be, do you think?” Ran asked.
“I think that depends on how strongly you feel about the person you’re kissing,” Shinichi said with honest thoughtfulness. “If you really love that person…” The thought trailed off.
They were still standing, frozen, in that same posture, carefully leaning into each other and each other’s arms, heads tilted, perhaps an inch of increasingly-warmer air separating their lips. Ran took a deep breath—it was now or never. “So…how hard would you kiss me?”
Shinichi was silent for a moment. “Let’s find out…”
The distance between them disappeared as he lowered his head.
In terms of posture, it was excellent, with arms positioned just so, and noses clear of each other (though breathing remained decidedly optional). Emotionally, though…
And if the force of a kiss was a clear sign of a person’s feelings towards their partner…
When it became apparent that both of them were ready to black out from a lack of oxygen, they let go, not really moving apart per se. And there was a long moment of silence before Shinichi finally spoke.
“…it was strawberry,” he said softly.
“Hmm?” Ran murmured, confused.
“I thought your lollipop was cherry flavored,” he explained. “But it tastes like strawberries.”
“Oh…yeah…” Ran breathed. “…I’m glad we got that whole thing figured out.”
“Proof that I can take a hint?” Shinichi grinned wickedly, and then chuckled when she blushed the color of the lollipop she’d been eating earlier. Then he suddenly went on. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to propose an experiment.”
“Well, you mentioned French kissing earlier…” he said, his nerves finally showing through as a lovely pink color flared on his cheeks. “Would you care to help me figure that one out? In the name of science, of course.”
Ran smiled, feeling her own face heat up. “Well…I suppose if it’s for science…”
And the experiment began in earnest.
PS. This was really the result of a mini-challenge one of my friends gave me. She’s not an anime fan or a fanfic author, but she knows I am, and so she challenged me to put the following line in a story: “Kissing is with the lips, not the tongue or the pelvis!” And the rest just grew around it. So Jewelsy, there you have it!
You want the scary part? I actually looked up kissing on Wikipedia. The article is actually really interesting. But let it never be said that I don’t do research!! Consider this my Lurker Day present. Thanks again for reading, everyone. The wonderful compliments mean a lot to me—much love, everyone!!