Fandom: Detective Conan
Publish Date: 1/2/2006
Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan. But I do have homemade hand-puppets for each character...that's normal, right?
Ah, the blessed sounds of communication. Well, at least for the two teenagers who stood in the middle of the Hattori living room screaming at each other, it was. They were having a full conversation in the form of a loud, angry argument. Typical, really.
Translation, you ask? Simple enough.
“You’re an idiot!”
“Why can’t you ever shut up?”
“You look like a monkey!”
“If brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t even have enough to power an ant’s motorcycle around the outside of a goddamn penny!”
See? And now you, too, can learn to speak the Bizarre Screaming Yelling Fighting Ahou Language of Hattori Heiji and Toyama Kazuha, in three simple and easy steps, guaranteed or your money back. But I digress.
But the fight was abruptly ended when Kazuha, having had enough of the ahou-ing, turned on her heel and stormed out in a huff, stomping out onto the front porch and plopping down to stew in her anger for a bit before going back inside.
Why does he always call me an ahou? Kazuha wondered with a sigh, putting her chin in her hand. If anyone’s an ahou around here, it’s him. She thought back to the argument of the previous moment, and all the arguments they’d had. Well, as many of them as she could remember, at least, there had been an awful lot of them. And she remembered many of the times Heiji had called her by that particular name, but a few times amongst more than she could have ever counted.
“Ahou! Watch where you’re going!”
“Quit nagging me, ahou!”
“Shut up, ahou!”
Ahou, ahou, ahou. Always an ahou.
It could almost be considered his pet name for her, really, he used it so often. But did he really mean it? She always let it roll off her back, ignoring what she had by now lumped into the category of safe and familiar. But he really did say it a lot. Did he mean ahou? Or was he trying to say something else?
As Kazuha sat there, wondering, suddenly a piece slid into place, like a Plinko chip dropping right into the big money slot. Her mind drifted back to her earlier thoughts of Heiji and his constant jibes about her being an ahou. But now something had changed, and she wondered if she knew perhaps what he really meant when he called her that, if he was saying something else…
“Stupid I love you!”
“I love you! Watch where you’re going!”
“Quit nagging me, I love you!”
“Shut up, I love you!”
“I love you!”
I love you, I love you, I love you.
And hadn’t she just been thinking that it was like a pet name?
“Uh, hey,” Heiji stuck his head out of the door. He looked vaguely uncomfortable.
But ‘vaguely uncomfortable’ gave way to ‘spontaneous combustion’ and ‘passing out’ when Kazuha got up, walked over, and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you, too, ahou,” she said with a smile, moving past him to stroll calmly back into the house.
Still standing stone-still in the doorway, half inside and half outside and all bewildered, Heiji blinked once, twice, three times a lady before replying to this revelation by saying something with his usual breathtaking intelligence. “…bwuh?”