Candyland (candyfics) wrote,

A Wall of Cards (40 Nights: Kaito/Aoko)

Title: A Wall of Cards
Fandom: Detective Conan/Magic Kaitou
Author: Candyland
Theme: #14—guardian angel
Pairing: Kuroba Kaito/Nakamori Aoko
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Gosho Aoyama. I do not own them. I merely borrow them, drop them in a blender, hit puree, and watch them dance. Yes, dance, my pretties…ahem.
Summary: I can’t be with you, not in the way I want to. So instead…

I’m an idiot. Did you know that?

I’m a complete idiot for getting away from the heist, and then coming to your house to sit for a while. And no matter what, I always wind up outside your window, just so I can watch you and be close to you for these few precious minutes.

Sometimes I really wonder what I’m doing here.

It sort of makes me laugh to know that if you happened to open your eyes and see Kaitou Kid sitting on your windowsill, you would probably scream bloody murder. And maybe throw something at me while waiting for your dad to come running.

In reality, I shouldn’t be here.

What I do is risky. I mean, I’m a thief. I walk on the wrong side of the law. Every time I put on the white suit and monocle, I’m proving yet again that I’m willing to risk everything for an ideal, a dream that may or may not ever be realized. I could be caught—unlikely, but there’s always the chance.

I’ve been lucky so far. But luck is fickle. Luck can change, or run out entirely.

A change in my luck might mean I was arrested.

But my luck running out…no, I don’t want to think about that.

I crept into your room one night. You had been sick all day, and you kept tossing and turning in your sleep. Before I knew it, I had popped open the window and snuck into the room and was kneeling next to your bed, trying to calm you down. By some miracle, you did settle.

I pushed my luck that night. If you’d woken up…again, it’s probably better not to think about things like that. I made a promise—to myself, and to my father’s memory—and I’m going to fulfill that promise, no matter the cost. It’s something I have to do.

I’m sorry, Aoko.

I just can’t be with you right now, at least not in the way I really want to. If—or should I say, when—you found out, it would just hurt you more than it already would or will. I’m not foolish enough to think that you’ll never at least be suspicious. One of these days, something will set off those warning bells in your head, and you’ll wonder. Even if you don’t want to or don’t believe any of it, you’ll wonder.

And I want to put that off as long as possible.

There’s another reason as well, though a slightly less tangible one: fear.

Yes, I get scared too, just like the next person. But this is a bit more serious than being afraid of the dark or concerned about monsters under the bed. It does include monsters, though…

Whenever our paths cross, my enemy always calls me by my father’s name. Which means he knew who Dad was before he killed him. If he got it into his head to do a little research, he’d easily find a ready candidate for the New Guy. The sins of the father be passed down to the son, I think the saying goes. Like father, like son. If he looked, he’d probably figure it out in record time.

If and when that happens…it’s not worth the risk. Hopefully they’ll only come after me. I know that won’t be easy on you either. I don’t want you to cry, but I know you will. No, I have to do this on my own as much as possible, to protect you and everyone else. I have to find them.

So until that finally happens, or until I find Pandora and my father’s killers, it has to be like this, with this wall between us. A wall of cards, really—one false move, and it’ll come crashing down. Remove one piece of the puzzle, and it will crumble. It’s frail…but it’s still a barrier, and it still stands between us.

That’s just the way it has to be.

Someday, when all this is over, I promise that I’ll be the one to pull that bottom card away and watch it all fall down. But for now, I’ll just have to settle for watching over you from afar, and spending these precious moments outside your window on the nights when Kuroba Kaito vanishes into the mask and monocle of his infamous alter ego.

Stolen moments, as it were. A heist without my usual notice. A theft without my usual show. This is true thievery, with only the silent moonlight as witness to the deviant act. I’m stealing time, and forming sad memories from purloined glances.

Your dad will be home soon. I should probably leave before he gets here and finds his old nemesis peeking in on his daughter. The last thing I want to do is give him an excuse to come after me with a shotgun instead of just handcuffs and curses.

…just one more moment.

Call me weak, call me foolish…but I hate leaving these times.

You’re not chasing me with a mop. You’re not screaming at me. You’re not waving signs telling me to go home. And I’m not flipping your skirt or making random things appear from places that they should never appear from. It’s more like those quiet moments we’ve had, curled up to watch a movie or chiseling our way through our homework together.

I like watching you sleep. You’re innocent, with or without the moonlight to shine on it.

You’ve always been that way.

Okay, I really need to leave now. I can see the headlights of your father’s car coming up the street. I’m not worried that he’ll see me, but it’s just better not to take that particular risk. I’m chancing it enough just coming here. So I’ll bid you a goodnight that you won’t hear before I take my leave.

Goodnight, Aoko.

May this all end soon, and may the wall of cards come down…


Still lost to innocent slumber in the safety of her bed, Nakamori Aoko never stirred, never noticed the white shadow slipping away from her windowsill and disappearing into the moonlit night. But her dreams, interestingly enough, were filled with peaceful images of an angel in white, watching over her from afar and keeping her safe.

A guardian angel, whose blue eyes sang of sadness and hope.

PS. It hit me that I’d made it through one-fifth of the themes, and I hadn’t used Kaitou Kid himself yet. And that just won’t do, now will it? So here you go—I send this one out to the amazing fyliwionvilyaer, as her latest awesome story for Kaito and Aoko on 30_kisses kinda sparked this one. Thanks, all. Much love!

Tags: character: aoko, character: kaito/kaitou kid, fandom: detective conan/magic kaito, fic: 40 nights, misc: theme comm

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