Candyland (candyfics) wrote,

The Usual Debate (30 Friends: Shinichi/Heiji)

Title: The Usual Debate
Author: Candyland
Fandom: Detective Conan
Friends: Kudo Shinichi/Edogawa Conan and Hattori Heiji
Theme: #12—argument
Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan—all the characters belong to Gosho Aoyama. I just kidnapped them and hid them in my closet to keep them safe from…I dunno, something awful, I’m sure. Don’t worry, I feed them. Sometimes.
Summary: Boys will be boys, and boys will argue.

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Beika. The sun was shining down over the home of one, Agasa-hakase. The gentle spring breeze drifted through the open window, just strong enough to rustle the curtains, and then wafted back out again, carrying on it the sounds of an intense argument.

A familiar argument. One loud enough to be heard in Osaka.

“Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“Ellery Queen.”

“Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“Ellery Queen.”





In other words, it was one of the normal arguments that tended to rage between Hattori Heiji and Kudo Shinichi, the Great Detectives of the West and East respectively. It was almost as heated as their last debate between soccer and baseball—that little discussion had ended in a fist fight that Agasa-hakase had eventually broken up.

That one had been a little extreme, though. Normally, these kinds of “discussions” simply wound up in full-blown Obscenity Contests, not attempts to break each others’ noses. But we digress.

It was on this day, however, that a poor, almost-innocent bystander would be dragged headfirst into their argument, and left with the almost impossible decision of awarding a victory to one or the other. Said bystander just happened to be sitting in the room while they were having their discussion (and proving remarkably adept at ignoring them) when she was approached directly.

“Haibara, would you please settle this?” Shinichi asked.

Sitting at her computer, hard at work and looking every inch a very small college researcher, Haibara Ai looked up at the two and quirked a brow. “I beg your pardon?”

“Who’s better—Arthur Conan Doyle or Ellery Queen?” Heiji prodded.

“Is that what you two have been arguing about? I couldn’t hear you over all the yelling,” she deadpanned, glancing back at her computer screen. “I think it’s safe to say that the entire neighborhood knows what you were discussing.”

The two high school detectives at least had the grace to look chagrined.

“Come on, Haibara. Just say who you think has the best detective stories,” Shinichi asked again.

With a sigh, Ai nodded. “Very well.” Having thus agreed to be the judge of this, she thought. She thought very, very carefully for several minutes while her two detective friends waited with varying degrees of patience. Then she smirked triumphantly at them. “Neither.”

Heiji raised an eyebrow. “Neither? What do you mean, neither?”

“Just what I said, Hattori-kun,” Ai sat back, still wearing that little half-smile. “Neither.”

“We asked you to settle this debate for us,” Shinichi frowned.

“I know.”

“So who’s got the best detective stories?” Heiji demanded.

Haibara’s smile grew a bit wider and a bit more evil. “If you must know, when it comes to detective stories, I’ve always been rather partial to Inspector Gadget. He’s always on duty.”

Heiji and Shinichi both sweatdropped. “Umm…”

“Hey, you asked.”

PS. I actually owe this one to my dear friend Kelly. She’s the one who made this comment to me when we were discussing mysteries and the people who solve them. Hope you enjoyed the randomness of this. Yes, I just kinda dropped Ai into it, but it was either her or Kaito…and I thought the image of Ai saying this was funnier, and so it stuck. Thanks for reading, everyone! Much love!

Tags: character: heiji, character: shinichi/conan, fandom: detective conan/magic kaito, fic: 30 friends, misc: theme comm

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