Candyland (candyfics) wrote,

Last Man Standing, Part II (CCS)

Title: Last Man Standing
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Rating: PG
Genre: General/Humor
Publish Date: 12/10/2003
Disclaimer: I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP does... *steals Eriol anyway*

It was sunny, but the ground was still blanketed with snow.

And it was a Fun Friday on the little college campus.

Fun Fridays meant that there would be dozens of little high school students scampering about on the campus, in meetings, slide shows, lectures, and a campus tour, while stopping for a meal somewhere along the line.

For the high school students, it was to be an exciting day and an exciting experience, looking at a school that they might very well be attending in the next year or so.

For the college students already enrolled there, it presented a choice opportunity. And one specific tour guide was in on the whole plan…


“Over there is Grand Hall,” Kinomoto Sakura stopped and pointed at the three story building on her right. “It’s one of our newer dorms, complete with elevators. And over here,” she continued, starting to walk again, “we have the Pierce-White dorm complex. Pierce is the all male dorm, and White is co-ed, seperated by floor.”

She turned around and smiled charmingly at her tour group. She had three families with her, one of which had a younger sibling along—a little girl who looked like she was about six or seven years old. “Are there any questions so far?”

“What kind of activities go on around this campus?” one of the women asked, still peering up at the two large, brown, brick buildings that had been pointed out as Pierce and White. You stepped in through the front door, and you were in a tunnel that connected the two dorms.

“Oh, all sorts of things. Right before it snowed, when it was still pretty warm, we had Jell-O baseball,” Sakura bubbled. “We fill wading pools with Jell-O and use those for bases. It’s really messy.”

She laughed inwardly at the memory of that game. It had taken some work, but she and Tomoyo had managed to convince Eriol and Syaoran to play. Tomoyo’s camera had not failed them, and they had a picture hanging on their dorm room wall of Eriol after he had slipped and ended up face down in first base. News of this picture of the dignified Hiiragiziwa Eriol, bright red Jell-O dripping from his face and glasses, wearing a white T-shirt stained with red, yellow, and green gelatin, had spread around campus fast, and Sakura and Tomoyo were charging for prints. At the rate they were going, they would make enough to pay off all of their student loans!

Eriol, however, wasn’t very amused.

The tour group, however, seemed to find it humorous enough, as they all chuckled at her explanation of the game.

“There’s almost always something going on around campus,” Sakura continued with a wave of her hand. “We try to create a feeling of unity here on campus, so anyone can participate in those games and stuff like that. We try to help forge the friendships that last a lifetime.”

That was their cue, and they didn’t miss it.

Two figures dashed out from behind White Hall, one chasing the other. The chaser, a young man with a shock of shaggy brown hair and a look of moderate insanity on his face, had one hand poised in the air, holding something bright green, and he was yelling. “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!”

“HELP ME!” the one fleeing screamed. He was a dark haired young man as well, but his expression was more fearful. He somersaulted to the ground, narrowly dodging being struck by the brown haired young man. He looked at the tour group through squinty eyes, his face a mad rictus of terror. “You have to help me! Please! He’s trying to kill me! Oh my God!”

He didn’t have time to say anything more, as the brown haired boy’s hand swung downwards again, this time making hard contact with the squinty-eyed boy’s back. The latter let out a howl of terror, and slumped dramatically to the slightly damp concrete, his tongue lolling out of one side of his mouth. He did not move again.

The tour group stared wide-eyed at the still form on the ground.

The brown haired boy straightened and laughed. “Well, that was easy. He really should have just let me kill him without making such a show of it.” He turned to the tour group Sakura was leading, all of whom were still frozen from shock. “Really. It was an unnecessary display. He should have known he can’t beat me. I am the master assassin.”

With that, he turned and strolled back towards the dorms, disappearing around the corner.

Sakura waited a moment, allowing her group a few seconds to recollect their lower jaws, and then smiled sweetly at them. “Shall we continue?”

Her group shifted their stares to gape at her for a long minute, as if she had lost her mind. Or as if she was some new and wonderous creature that none of them had ever seen before. Then slowly, they all seemed to come out of their stupor, one by one, and agreed that moving on was indeed a VERY good idea.

As Sakura led her group away from the Pierce-White dorms, low laughter could be heard coming from behind the wall. The young man with the brown hair—a.k.a. Li Syaoran—stepped out, laughing his head off. “Yamazaki, that was brilliant!”

The dead man, otherwise known as Yamazaki Takashi, lifted his head and grinned. “That was fun! And I died twice!” He climbed to his feet and attempted to brush some of the slush off of his pants. “I guess we don’t need to tell them that I’m not technically in the game anymore, ne?”

The two shared a good laugh as they watched the hapless tour group head off towards Liberty Hall, where the second ambush was already lying in wait…

It was so nice to have a tour guide in on the game.


“This is Liberty Hall,” Sakura said, gesturing widely towards the building nearby. She noticed with a certain amount of satisfaction that her group’s mood had returned to normal in the few minutes since they had left the scene behind at Pierce-White.

Truthfully, what they were doing was probably very wrong. They really shouldn’t be scaring off potential students like this. But the game being what it was, the opportunity was simply too good to let by. Plus, a few upperclassmen had been bragging about the pranks they had pulled in their heyday, and this was the perfect opportunity to pass them up.

“Liberty Hall is our substance free dorm,” Sakura rattled off the necessary information whilst the parents in the group oohed and aahed, the teenagers attempted to look interested, and the six year old girl conducted in an depth study of her shoes.

She was losing the attention of her audience. Well, that wouldn’t last for long.

Right on cue, an ear-piercing shriek split the air.

The members of Sakura’s group jumped a mile and looked around, frantically searching for the source of the noise. Well, they didn’t have to look far. It ended up coming to them.

Rika staggered dramatically out of Liberty, clutching both hands over her heart. She wove back and forth, doing an excellent impression of a drunk who had just finished his fifteenth shot of Fire and Ice (AN: Strong stuff…my friends didn’t tell me it was 69 proof until after I’d downed the shot…ugh…don’t give me that look! I’m in college!).

She stumbled up to the group, gave them a blank, wide-eyed look, and fell to the sidewalk, gasping. “She—she got me…she came out of nowhere…and she got me…right in the back…” She rolled onto her side, giving them a good view of the Day-Glo orange note stuck to the back of her sweater.

Another girl came running out of the building called Liberty Hall. This one had short hair, and a pair of glasses perched on her nose. “Take that! I am victorious!” She descended into peals of laughter. The girl on the ground continued gasping, paying no attention to the newcomer.

“That’s just Naoko-chan,” Sakura said, waving a hand as if to brush the two away. “If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you the suites now. That’s actually where I live.”

The group hurried to follow her, apparently eagerly to leave this scene behind. None of them noticed, but as soon as they were out of hearing distance, the girl with glasses—Naoko—helped the other girl—Rika—up from the ground; they gave each other a high five and ran back into the dorm.

“Each suite houses six people,” she explained. “They’ve got three bedrooms, a bathroom for each bedroom, so each person only has to share a bathroom with one other person, and a common room. The people in the suites are really quite friendly.”

That was the cue.

Eriol dove out of a nearby door, but he didn’t get too far. Tomoyo was right behind him; she literally jumped on his back, slamming him to the floor. “You’re mine, Hiiragiziwa!” With that, she raised one hand into the air and slapped it down hard, sticking a purple Post-It Note to his back.

Eriol let out a howl, like the cry of a dying thing, and stopped moving, sprawled face-down on the floor. Tomoyo got up and brushed invisible dirt from the legs of her jeans. Then she walked back into the room from which the two had emerged and closed the door, leaving the unmoving body on the floor.

The little girl in the group began to whiper.

“Miss, what exactly is going on here?” one of the women in her group, the one with the small child now clinging to her, finally demanded. Sakura had been waiting for this kind of question for a long time now; the group had been shooting each other worried and confused glances since the first incident, but she assumed that they were simply too embarassed or bewildered to chance a question.

“I assure you, there is nothing to worry about…” Sakura’s words drifted off into nothingness as she noticed another person standing nearby. This one was watching Sakura intently; one finger absently twirled the end of one long, auburn braid around it. A smirk decorated her face.

Sakura’s smile dissolved into a frown, and then a smirk worthy of Eriol. “Chiharu-chan…”

One of Sakura’s hands disappeared into a pocket, and came out holding a pad of neon pink Post-It Notes. Words could been seen scrawled across it, and if one looked carefully, one could read that it said ‘Got you got you got you!’

Without another word, she lunged. The two young women grappled around for a moment, even falling over onto the floor, before the other girl, the one that had been called Chiharu-chan, slammed one hand onto the tour guide’s back. Her note was yellow.

Sakura screamed and fell to the ground, twitching and writhing as she gasped for air.

The little girl in the group started to scream and cry, and the group apparently made a collective decision that they had had enough. They all turned and fled, stumbling over each other in their efforts to get away and escape this insane asylum.

The door cracked open and Tomoyo’s head poked out. “You can get up now. They’re gone.”

Immediately, the two “bodies” climbed to their feet; Chiharu was laughing her head off as both Sakura and Eriol both peeled the Post-It Notes from their backs.

Naoko, Rika, Yamazaki, and Syaoran came up a different staircase from the one down which the tour group had made their hasty exit. They were all grinning from ear to ear. “I take it the plan was a complete success?”

“More than you know,” Sakura laughed. She briefly wondered what had become of her tour group, but dismissed the thought; she wanted to enjoy the moment. “I kind of feel bad about that little girl, though. She might need therapy. I guess they couldn’t figure out that it was just a game.” She glanced down at the note in her hand. “If they’d read this, they would have known.”

Chiharu’s bright yellow Post-It Note read, This is a game, and a big prank we’re playing on you. . We’re actually all friends. Sakura-chan isn’t even my real target!

Everyone laughed.

“Tomoyo-san,” Eriol said slowly, rereading the purple note she had so forcefully stuck to his back, “interesting message, to say the least.”

Tomoyo’s note simply read Enjoy your afterlife, you pathetic sap.

Tags: fandom: cardcaptor sakura, fic: last man standing, misc: chapter-fic

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