Fandom: Detective Conan
Friends: Kudo Shinichi/Edogawa Conan and Hattori Heiji
Theme: #11—a night in
Rating: PG-13 (for talk only)
Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan—all the characters belong to Gosho Aoyama. I just kidnapped them and hid them in my closet to keep them safe from…I dunno, something awful, I’m sure. Don’t worry, I feed them. Sometimes.
Summary: The girls were going to a party where no boys were allowed.
The girls had gone out for the night. Translation? The boys had stayed in.
Ran and Kazuha had been looking forward to this party for a few weeks now; it was actually Ran who had invited the Osakan girl to go with her. They’d been on the phone about it every waking moment (or so it seemed to the boys), and finally, Kazuha made her way to Tokyo to go with Ran. Heiji had tagged along to keep Kudo company.
Hey, what were friends for?
The two young men had been left to their own devices. So they opted to stay in and try to find something of interest on TV. Finally, they located a soccer game and agreed that it was the best option. Especially when compared to the five seconds they’d watched of that one American cartoon show; all that had done was convince the teenaged detectives that Americans were, in fact, very strange.
What was it with the sponge…and the square pants?
The conversation was relatively light, over the usual topics. School, their sports of choice (kendo and soccer), their latest cases, and most of all, girls and the annoyances thereof. That particular thread of discussion far outlasted the others, and eventually led to a question that neither had dared ask until…
“So what exactly is this party they’re going to?” Shinichi asked as a commercial flashed onto the screen. “Ran said it was called a ‘passion party.’ But she wouldn’t tell me anything else about it.”
“I was hoping you knew!” Heiji exploded. “Kazuha’s the same way. She keeps blabbering about how excited she is and how much fun this is going to be and on and on…and then says that I don’t need to know what it is. Something about it being a ‘girl thing.’” He accented that by doing finger-quotes in the air as he spoke.
“…now, common sense says that anything qualified as a ‘girl thing,’” Shinichi imitated the hand gesture, “should be looked upon as extremely dangerous. But…dammit, I’m curious!” He flopped back against his chair in a full-fledged pout, the likes of which hadn’t been seen since his Conan days.
“A passion party…” Heiji leaned back and thought. “Passion fruit?”
Shinichi snorted a laugh. “They like to cook, and they went to try some new fruits! That’s…well, I don’t know if it’s a girl thing, but it’s definitely not anything we can do. “Or maybe…the Passion? Did you ever read anything about world religions?”
“That’s Christianity, right?”
“…somehow, I don’t think that’s what it is. But it was a good thought,” Heiji nodded.
“Maybe passion tea?” Shinichi tried again. “A tea party? Or a tea house?”
“Hmmm…but why couldn’t we go to that?” Heiji countered; then his expression suddenly grew wide-eyed and alarmed. “Kudo…what if it’s actually passion passion. Like, a dating service or something.”
Shinichi shook his head. “No way—they’ve got us, remember?”
“But then why so secretive? Why is it girls only?” Heiji ticked the various points off on his fingers as he listed them. “There has to be a reason why they won’t tell us where they’re going and what it’s all about! Except,” he sat back, “Kazuha wouldn’t do that.”
“Ran wouldn’t either,” Shinichi sighed. “Let’s just wait until they get home. Then we’ll beg.”
Four and a half eternities later, the front door finally opened. “We’re home!” Ran’s voice cheered. A moment later, she and Kazuha appeared in the kitchen doorway, each holding a small plastic bag. “Sorry we’re a little late, guys!”
Shinichi managed a smile. “I take it you had fun?”
“We had a blast!” Kazuha chirped. Then she noticed Heiji’s look. “What?”
“Nothing,” he replied—a little too quickly. She raised an eyebrow.
Shinichi came to the rescue. “We were just kind of wondering what exactly a passion party is.” His words were calm, but his tone was more of a Pleeeeease tell us because we’re going crazy here!
Ran smiled sweetly. “Didn’t we tell you?”
Both boys shook their heads.
The girls smiled. Evilly. “Fifty girls getting together to talk about sex and all the things that go along with it,” Kazuha replied.
Two male jaws dropped down through the table top and onto the floor.
“You went to a party…about sex?” Shinichi repeated.
“Yup!” Ran said. “C’mon, Kazuha-chan—let’s go look at our new stuff.” They started towards the stairs, but were stopped when one of the guys called out to them.
“Kazuha?” Heiji asked in a strangled voice.
“…what’s in the bag?”
Kazuha smiling response would haunt Heiji’s most colorful dreams for the next month. It left him in a silent, vacant-eyed, hormone-ridden state that he would not recover from for at least an hour. The only thing that saved Shinichi from the same fate was the fact that Ran, standing beside Kazuha, reached into her own bag and proved that all it held were some pamphlets. Still, the effect was funny either way.
And there was much rejoicing.
PS. So…yeah. The plunnies are eating my brain. With tartar sauce. So I send this out to magic_truth, who finally said, “Just write this idea!” So…I did. Another short one. Also, props to ammchan, who has been slaving over summer homework. Smile, sweetie! I broke Heiji for you!
For those of you who have never been to a passion party, they are insanely fun if you’re okay with very open, blunt discussions about sex and toys and all that fun stuff—but no boys allowed! Kazuha’s ending comment is quasi-based on a true story, in which a complete stranger thought that my former best friend and I were a couple.
…and based on my own passion party experience, I could not resist. Mention of, ahem, toys.
The speaker was talking about toys—a specific type of them. She had examples, and was explaining to the ladies at the passion party about all the different options they would have if they chose to invest in such an item. “You can also find ones with lights on them—why you’d need a flashlight down there is beyond me, it’s pretty hard to get lost! They come in all different colors, sizes…I’m sure they even have ones that play music!”
Kazuha didn’t mean to do it. She really didn’t. But it popped out before she could help herself or even realize what she was doing. She opened her mouth and started to sing. “O come, all ye faithful…”
Beside her, Ran choked on her drink.
…yes, that was me who did that. And yes, Jen choked. Anyhoo, thanks for reading, all! Much love!