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07 June 2007 @ 11:20 am
Finding Humanity (Fanfic100)  
Title: Finding Humanity
Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: Akai, Akemi (general series)
Prompt: #85—she
Word Count: 613 words
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: It was the stupidest…no, the SECOND stupidest thing she had ever done. Akai/Akemi

It was quite possibly the stupidest thing she had ever done. No, that wasn’t right—it was the second stupidest thing she had ever done. The first was getting involved with that man in the first place.

It was all so horrible—she knew going into it that it was a mistake. Her life belonged to the Syndicate, and they could do with it as they pleased—there were no illusions about that. As soon as she outlived her usefulness, she would be removed from the picture. No matter how much she wanted to run, to flee and be free of the Organization forever…

But she couldn’t run—wouldn’t run. Her sister was there…and he was there…those were the only things that made the black cage seem surprisingly attractive. But they were enough. So she let herself be caught up in that lose-lose situation. There was no way out, but at least she had something to hold onto.

Even if she knew it was a lie, that he wasn’t what he claimed to be, she clung to it.

He played his role well, though. Right up to and including the moment he kissed her. She let him. She knew what he was and that he had lied to her. By all accounts, she should have pushed him away and told him right then that she knew.

But…no one had ever held her like that. To have that kind of attention paid to her…to have someone actually treat her like a human being or anything other than a tool…her sister was wonderful, but it wasn’t the same. So she gave into the temptation and gave into the kiss, just that one time.

And when she closed her eyes, she could actually let herself believe that it actually meant as much to him as it meant to her.

When she told him the truth—that she knew who he was—he was shocked. And he asked her why she didn’t say anything if she knew he was just taking advantage of her. It had hurt to hear him say it like that. She knew it to be true, but hearing it come from him like that…it brought tears to her eyes.

Why hadn’t she said anything?

Because he made her feel like something.

Because he made her smile.

Because he treated her like a human being.

Even if none of it was true, there were still so many reasons…

But when she turned to him with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, all she said was, “Can’t you tell without asking?”

She never saw Akai Shuichi again.

Not long after that, she struck a deal with some of the Syndicate higher-ups: one more job to earn freedom for herself and her sister. Somewhere deep down, she knew that it was yet another lie, that she would never be free. But she agreed to it and took the job.

That job was to become known as the Billion Yen Bank Heist…and she was to die for refusing to tell Gin where the money was.

As she lay dying, a young boy say and talked to her after introducing himself as a detective. He held her hand and heard her last words as the final moments of her wasted life slipped away from her. But it was remarkable…even though this boy knew her to be a criminal…he treated her like a human being.

Like he was sorry for her, even though he didn’t know her.

He could see a perfect as a person.

How sad. How tragically ironic, Akemi thought as she died, that someone would only find her humanity in her death.

PS. Written on request for ran_mouri82 and magicbulletgirl—they asked for Akai/Akemi. Man, this was hard to write…there’s so little canon for these two. So I hope I was at least partially successful. I like Akemi, even though we haven’t had much of her. Thanks for reading, all. Much love!

kit2000andanna: Kit2000kit2000andanna on June 7th, 2007 06:30 pm (UTC)
I don't know those two but I really enjoyed the fic. Thank you for the idea)
Keep on writing!
Candyland =^.^=: haibara--evilcandy__chan on June 9th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
Akemi is Shiho/Sherry/Ai's older sister--she appeared in an early manga volume, and was killed. Akai Shuichi is an FBI agent who's been a major player in some of the more recent manga action. The canon for these two JUST became official, so I think that's where the request for them came from :)

Thanks bunches! :D :D :D
lightbird777 on June 7th, 2007 11:37 pm (UTC)
This is a very touching fic. Great job!
Candyland =^.^=: i like piecandy__chan on June 9th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
Lucky_Ladybug: sephiroth_KH2insaneladybug on June 8th, 2007 02:24 am (UTC)
Aww! That was so sweet and sad. ;__; I like this exploration into the Shuichi/Akemi pairing. I think it was successful! It's so bittersweet, how Akemi thinks of the only times she's felt like she was treated as a person. And the last line brings the point home very well. I'd like to see a second part to this, from Shuichi's POV. ^^
Candyland =^.^=: scorpiocandy__chan on June 9th, 2007 02:49 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! This was a hard one to write, so I'm doubly glad that it's well-received :D
M.O.N.A.: Fallen Akemi-Cran_mouri82 on June 9th, 2007 07:06 pm (UTC)
*wibbles* Waaaaaah!

This was so endearingly sad. Now I just wanna give Akemi a big hug and tell her I think she is the awesomest character--well, with her sister. ^^ It stung to imagine her deep wounds and hurt feelings after her conversation with Akai, but this was so well done even that served to increase the beauty of this introspective story.

Great job! *wibbles again*
Candyland =^.^=: haibara--evilcandy__chan on June 9th, 2007 07:40 pm (UTC)
YAY!! Thank you!! :D :D :D I'm really happy that you like it because I wrote it for you :3 I love Akemi, even though we don't have much of her to go on. That's why she has a tendency to pop up in my fics--she was the main character in Voice, even!

*loves on you long time*
M.O.N.A.: Fallen Akemi-Cran_mouri82 on June 10th, 2007 04:55 am (UTC)
You're quite welcome, and thank you for being so good as to take that difficult fic request. ^^

One facet of Akemi I've been thinking about lately is her connection with Ran. When Shuuichi once told Ran about a girl who kept hiding her tears . . . that must've been Akemi, right? And Ai has been wanting to keep Ran safe ever since that Hallow'een night when she saved her life and reminded her of Akemi. Oh, the wibble factor!
Candyland: Plunniecandyfics on June 15th, 2007 03:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, no problem! It was actually kind of interesting to write, even though it was tough. I don't know how in character it is, but I had fun with it :)

...that's very true! I never thought about it like that. Wow...Gosho created some pretty sweet characters o.0 We can gush about them after they've appeared in one volume!
M.O.N.A.: Self-Diagnosis - Cran_mouri82 on June 16th, 2007 01:34 pm (UTC)
And we barely MET Shuu! He finally got some frame time, and . . . *fights back tears*
Dagron a.k.a. Nat': AkeDaiHodagronrat on June 13th, 2007 12:17 am (UTC)
It's one am and I am braindead, but! ♥ <- all I wanted to say. ^___^

(oh psst, there might be some typos near the end?)
Candyland: DC4 [Gin--Blonde Hair of EVIL]candyfics on June 15th, 2007 03:10 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks!! :D I think I was partially brain-dead after writing this because it was a tough one ^^;;

(...where? Might be because it's my own writing and I tend to be my own worst editor, but I don't see any >_>)
Dagron a.k.a. Nat': Akai Topsdagronrat on June 15th, 2007 03:56 pm (UTC)
"He could see a perfect ?? as a person."
Presume you meant stranger?

I don't know if they're are any others at the moment, I'm a bit, erm, hassled getting stuff together. Might come back to you once I'm settled again.

*hugs* Tough fics do that. Still- Wonderful fic bit. *___*
Candyland: MKR1 [Beginner's luck]candyfics on June 15th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
... *smacks self in forehead* This is why I don't proofread my own fics. I miss the glaringly obvious stuff like that *continues to bonk self* Thanks a bunch ^^;; Feel free to point out any others if you see them *feels dumb now*

Thanks! And don't be too hassled! *fans you*
M.O.N.A.: I See You - Cran_mouri82 on June 16th, 2007 01:38 pm (UTC)

*fangirls on your selfmade?!icon*
magic_truth: The Waysmagic_truth on June 15th, 2007 05:00 am (UTC)
I love this! Poor Akemi. She got a terrible terrible deck of cards dealt to her. While I strongly believe that one day Ai will be able to lead a regular life but I can't help but think that Akemi never got to have that.

It must have been so heartbreaking to hear that from Akai. How she kept it together as well as she did I have no idea. I would have burst in tears and run home sobbing. *laugh*
Candyland: DC3 [How do I...]candyfics on June 15th, 2007 03:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!

I've always felt really bad for poor Akemi. She did get a really crap lot in life...and really, she was only in the one volume (aside from the occasional flashback and whatnot), and yet she still managed to be interesting enough to persist in the minds of fans like she has. Might be why she tends to pop up in my fics...

I'd like to think that Ai will get to have a regular life, though...and you're right. I have NO idea how she held it together when he outright admitted that he was taking advantage of her. But I'm a sissy...but at the same time, I think Akai felt really bad about it. Whether it was because he was actually feeling something for her or because he felt guilty about doing that to her or he felt guilty about her death, I don't know...and on a side note, I refuse to believe that Akai is dead *pouts*

M.O.N.A.: 4 Things - Cran_mouri82 on June 16th, 2007 01:43 pm (UTC)
On that last note, I still wonder why the heck Gosho spent a whole file proving it. It almost felt like he was trying too hard!


It also makes things look more suspicious.
hakaisha on July 5th, 2007 05:53 am (UTC)
I admit I'm biased, but I do have a more charitable view of Akai than what you presented here. Simply because he obviously still thinks about her a lot all the way to his death (to the point he has her last text message before she died. And hell, Sato did the same with Matsuda and quite obviously she still felt something for the guy)...and I get the impression that 3-year stint as a mole couldn't have been easy; he probably needed the emotional support as much as she did.

Or maybe I'm just a sucker for these doomed, tragic romances.

But otherwise...aiya. I just want to give Akemi a hug. She really has the short end of the stick...

Candyland: DC13 [FBI]candyfics on July 5th, 2007 03:06 pm (UTC)
I respect that completely. I'm...still trying to figure out Akai's character. And we had so little Akemi that it's nearly impossible to pin her down to one characterization, and that's a lot of what made this fic so damn hard to write @_@ So I understand where you're coming from--I do like Akai, but this was the best idea I came up with for the prompt (as this was written on request), and so this was what came of it.

*koff* Hopefully Akai's not dead so he can come back in a blaze of glory and I can actually get a better handle on his character, yes? :D *koff*

And yes, Akemi got shafted. That's why she tends to make cameos in my fics at weird moments ^^;; *glomps* Thanks for commenting!