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01 October 2007 @ 03:42 pm
Simple Things (30 Evil Deeds: Gin)  
Title: Simple Things
Author: Candyland
Fandom: Detective Conan
Bad Guy: Gin
Theme: #7—an old rug, rolled up and tied
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Own Detective Conan, I do not. Own the characters, Gosho Aoyama does. Making money off them, I am not. Borrow and write about them, I merely do. Talk like Yoda, I must.
Summary: Gin enjoyed the simple, practical things in life.

It was the simple pleasures that really made life worth living. And Gin really did enjoy the simple things in life, like waking up in the morning to find that it was a gray, overcast day; knowing that there would be a storm was delightfully depressing. But many of these simple things were also quite practical, he’d found.

Sitting in front of the mirror and brushing his (evil) hair exactly one hundred times to ensure maximum shininess and volume? That was simple personal hygiene.

Going to see the Boss about his newest assignment and getting to sit in that one very comfortable chair that he swore had evil upholstery? Simply business.

Cruising around in his Porsche? That was a safety thing—if he walked, he could be hit by a car. Being a pedestrian could be extremely dangerous, you know.

Reading about the Manson murders during his lunch break? Literacy, and education. He was schooling himself in further ways to Not Get Caught.

Taking an old rug and throwing it into the sea? That was recycling. Fish probably didn’t have interior decorators. Maybe they could use it in their coral reef or something.

Listening to the final scream of the man wrapped up in the old rug as he plummeted the thirty feet into the water? That was…okay, that was just fun, plain and simple.

Truly, it was the simple, practical things that made Gin’s life so wonderful. And evil.

PS. …I’m just going to mark this with the “This was a whole lot funnier in my head” stamp and move along. Thanks for reading, all. Much love!

M.O.N.A.: Take Me Away! - Cran_mouri82 on October 1st, 2007 10:53 pm (UTC)
You'd better refile this one in the "all-around funny" bin. Every other line had me laughing out loud. My favorite image was the one of Gin brushing his hair a hundred times for maximum Evil!shininess. And what a way to work in the theme of "an old rug, rolled up and tied"! *salutes and runs*
Candyland: DC12 [Haibara]candyfics on October 3rd, 2007 04:11 pm (UTC)
...I think other people tend to find this stuff funnier than I do ^^;; Oh well! Thank you, love! *GLOMPS*

I almost feel bad because the next one isn't going to be crack. *GASP* I know, what is this world coming to?
M.O.N.A.: Sanity - Oran_mouri82 on October 3rd, 2007 10:51 pm (UTC)
Now this is interesting:

1) You wrote crack, then worried about not having angst!plunnies.

2) You finally accepted da crack in all its glory.

3) You can write angst! FTW! ^_^

There's a lesson for us here. The minute we let go of what it is we think we're supposed to be doing and stop trying to force it, we'll gain the freedom we need to achieve our goal. (Wait, does that mean I have to give up my 30 Kisses challenge?! Noes! Candy-chaaaaaan!)
Candyland: Plunniecandyfics on October 7th, 2007 02:20 pm (UTC)
...actually, right now it feels like I'm struggling a little bit for plunnies, period ;o; I think it's this time of year that kills my muses. Actually, more like "slaps my will to write in the face with a tire iron." But we won't nitpick ^_~

M.O.N.A.: Hang On - Cran_mouri82 on October 7th, 2007 05:11 pm (UTC)
Maybe we need to create another LJ holiday? Like International KYMITA Day!

That stands for "Kick Your Muse In The . . . Hindquarters". ^___^*
Candyland: DC28 [Conan: Let's play]candyfics on October 7th, 2007 05:14 pm (UTC)
Okay, you know me, so you had to know you were going to get the smartasshindquarters answer.

Cherelle_Holmes: Fangirlcherelle_holmes on October 2nd, 2007 10:59 am (UTC)
*bonkes da candy* I had to laugh my ass off! (And that was quite pain sonce i got a injection in my hip yesterday XD) ...especially the evil!shininess thing! *sings* i look pretty~ oh so pretty~

...i think i love gin more and more... o___O
does that make me a even more strange person?
Candyland: DC04 [Gin--Blonde Hair of EVIL]candyfics on October 3rd, 2007 04:12 pm (UTC)
O_O DON'T HURT YOURSELF OVER MY FICS!! *frets* Maybe I should stop posting until after you have your surgery so you don't get injured somehow...

Glad you liked it! ^_^
marsdejahthorismarsdejahthoris on October 2nd, 2007 03:01 pm (UTC)
Believe me, Candy, this is funny. Crack, like the rest of them, but definitely FUNNY. *hugs Gin, runs like hell*
Candyland: DC15 [Detective and thief]candyfics on October 3rd, 2007 04:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D I guess I'm my own worst critic or something? ^^;;