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13 November 2007 @ 07:27 pm
Little Green Monster (30 Friends: Shinichi-Heiji)  
Title: Little Green Monster
Author: Candyland
Fandom: Detective Conan
Friends: Kudo Shinichi/Edogawa Conan and Hattori Heiji
Theme: #17—jealousy
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan—all the characters belong to Gosho Aoyama. I just kidnapped them and hid them in my closet to keep them safe from…I dunno, something awful, I’m sure. Don’t worry, I feed them. Sometimes.
Summary: Heiji wasn’t jealous of Kudo. No way.

Hattori Heiji was not jealous of Kudo.

No way in hell.

After all, why should he be jealous of Kudo Shinichi? There was absolutely no reason for it at all! Honestly, what did the Tokyo tantei have that he didn’t? Nothing!

Kudo was a famous high school detective.

Heiji was a famous high school detective.

Kudo was a soccer ace.

Heiji was a kendo star.

Kudo lived alone, as his parents were overseas, and had total freedom to do pretty much whatever he wanted.

Heiji’s parents were…his parents. ‘Nuff said.

Kudo had a rocket-powered skateboard, a bowtie that allowed him to imitate anyone’s voice, super sneakers that packed quite a punch, and a wristwatch that shot sleeping darts.

Heiji had a motorcycle.

Kudo had friends in the FBI and CIA.

Heiji knew a lot of cops.

Kudo had Neechan—Mouri Ran, one of the most loving, caring, loyal individuals Heiji had ever met. She was sweet, gentle, and completely devoted to the Detective of the East.

Heiji had the ahou—Toyama Kazuha, one of the loudest, most annoying, most stubborn people Heiji had ever been unfortunate enough to know. She was completely devoted to making sure the Detective of the West never had a moment’s peace.

Kudo had spent god only knew how long stuck in the body of his seven year old self while hiding from a massive Crime Syndicate of Evil and a psychotic, trigger-happy madman, all out for his blood.

…okay, Heiji didn’t really have anything to compare to that. Even when things were at their worst in his world, his life had never sucked that much.

So there was obviously no reason at all for Heiji to be jealous of Kudo. None at all. No little green monsters around here! And besides, they were on all but equal footing as detectives. It wasn’t like Kudo always beat him to the punch or anything. So there was no reason—

“I’ve got it!” Kudo said triumphantly. “I know who the murderer is!”

…Heiji hated Kudo so damn much.

PS. Short and silly. Not much else to say. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!

shubbimama: HITCHHIKER Giggle giggleshubbimama on November 14th, 2007 06:00 am (UTC)
Eheeeeh! Short and silly, just like we all want it! :D

Keep it up, because you're doing GOOD!!!
Candyland: DC11 [Toichi]candyfics on November 14th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
*laugh* Thank you! :D Glad you enjoyed! \o/

I want to have both 30_ways and 30_friends to their twenty-ninth fics by the end of this month. Then I have all of December to prep the fic-dump of DOOM that I usually do on Christmas Eve ^_~
shubbimama: MP Our Heroshubbimama on November 14th, 2007 05:14 pm (UTC)
Weee! Biggie-ficcie-dump...ie! Look so much forward! >_
Candyland: DC19 [Kaito: reading]candyfics on November 14th, 2007 07:19 pm (UTC)
Yup! If I get everything done for it that I want to get done for it, it'll be well over ten things getting posted on here at once. I'm thinking that I might make an announcement about it here, then back-date all the entries (so as not to eat up people's f-lists) and link them from my LJ. That'll be a little bit nicer to everyone, I think ~_~;;

But this is all up in the air. We have to see how much I can get done!
M.O.N.A.: 4 Things - Cran_mouri82 on November 14th, 2007 08:42 pm (UTC)
Kudou does have something major that Hattori doesn't. It's the source of Hattori's bitterness and the secret, mystical reason why Kudou beats him to the punch 99 times out of 100.

As they say in YGO Abridged, he's not the main character. XD

You have just supplied us with a brief, humorous chronicle of Major Supporting Character Angst (MSCA). You have done much for the world (of Conan fandom) in spreading awareness of Heiji's need to get over it. Good job!

Wait. Does that make Heiji into Conan's Joey Wheeler?
Candyland: DC02 [Heiji: Girlfriend]candyfics on November 14th, 2007 09:06 pm (UTC)
EXACTLY! But then again, wouldn't "Screw the rules, I have money" apply to both of them? They both come from fairly affluent backgrounds...

Thanks, hon! *glomps* Heiji does need to get over it...although at the same time, I'd sort of like to see him absolutely TROUNCE Shinichi in a case. Seriously--Heiji's good. Let him shine more often! :D

...wouldn't that make Heiji a furry? Kazuha better watch out! *shot*
M.O.N.A.: 4 Things - Cran_mouri82 on November 15th, 2007 02:58 am (UTC)
Or Kazuha could say, "Again, Heiji, that's too much information."

Hate to say it, but Hondou Eisuke would so be Abridged!Bakura. C'mon, the guy has gay-dar!
Candyland: DC13 [FBI]candyfics on November 15th, 2007 01:52 pm (UTC)
...or she could say that it was hot? o.o THE POSSIBILITIES BOGGLE THE MIND!!

*cackles* PERFECT!! :D
Cherelle_Holmes: Smile! >Dcherelle_holmes on December 26th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)
Seriously, guys...
Who has got the better this, who has got the longest that...

Why do they always have to compare things with other guys? XD Mehehe
Candyland: DC: Heijicandyfics on January 4th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)
...excuse me. I have to go crawl under the bed and laugh myself to death now XD
Cherelle_Holmes: Heiji OMG!!!cherelle_holmes on December 26th, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC)

Just had the image of Heiji and Shinichi standing next to each other on the toilet...
Heiji looks over the divider to Kudo and suddenly goes "SCORE!!!" XD OI!
Thaaaank you!
Candyland: DC: Shinichicandyfics on January 4th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Cherelle_Holmes: Heiji hentaicherelle_holmes on January 18th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)