Candyland (candyfics) wrote,

A Day in the Life of Evil Incarnate (30 Evil Deeds: Gin)

Title: A Day in the Life of Evil Incarnate
Author: Candyland
Fandom: Detective Conan
Bad Guy: Gin
Theme: #27—counting the hours
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Own Detective Conan, I do not. Own the characters, Gosho Aoyama does. Making money off them, I am not. Borrow and write about them, I merely do. Talk like Yoda, I must.
Summary: Gin had a busy day ahead of him.

7:00 AM: Wake up. Begin morning ritual

When his alarm went off in the morning, the being known as Gin sat up, looked at the clock…and fell over again. But when the heinous buzzing didn’t stop, he obligingly rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom, pausing only long enough to shoot the alarm clock.

Let it never be said that embodiments of Evil were morning people.

Once he was up and moving, though, he set about getting ready for his day. This included washing his face with Evil-brand soap, brushing his teeth with Evil-brand toothpaste (minty!), and brushing his Blonde Hair of Evil exactly one hundred times for maximum shininess.

After he had cleaned up and attired himself in a manner befitting his standing and profession, he headed down for his favorite breakfast: a big bowl of Evil-O’s! Hmm…evil…

8:00 AM: Head to work

With his morning routine completed, Gin hopped in his Black Car of Evil (with Vodka in tow) and headed out to cause suffering in the world. A glance at his assignment sheet from the Syndicate proved that he had a very busy day ahead of him.

9:00 AM: Death

9:30 AM: Death

10:00 AM: Death

11:00 AM: Death

11:30 AM: Death

12:00 AM: Lunch

A charming little Italian bistro provided good pasta. It was so tasty that Gin decided not to nuke the place, lest the chef die and thus be unable to prepare such a meal for him again.

After the last noodle had been devoured (and for the record, embodiments of Evil did NOT slurp their alfredo, thank you very much), they headed back out to the car. When he turned the key in the ignition, the radio came blaring on. “…is radio station E-V-I-L, for all your Evil music needs! We’re bringing ‘em to you seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day, sixty seconds a minute!”

It was Gin’s favorite radio station. Well, back to work.

12:30 PM Death

1:00 PM: Death

1:30 PM: Death

2:00 Afternoon tea

This was the part of his day that didn’t involve death—or worrying about his hair. And Vodka did make some delicious scones. His only complaint was that the Syndicate’s botanists had not yet found a truly Evil tea. They one they were currently drinking was only Moderately Unpleasant.

They needed to keep working on that.

3:00 PM: Death

3:45 PM: Quick death

4:00 PM: Jazzercise

Although it was incredibly asinine, Gin reminded himself not to shoot this instructor. Walking embodiments of all that is unholy needed to be in shape!

5:00 PM: Death

6:00 PM: Death

7:00 PM: Late dinner

8:00 PM: Death

9:00 PM Death

10:00 PM: Free time

During his “down time” in the Syndicate’s lounge, he wound up getting into an argument with Vermouth. As she walked away with a decided swing of those famous hips, Gin really thought about making her dead.

11:00 PM: Bedtime

As he curled up in bed (possibly with a teddy bear, although no one who has ever seen for certain has lived to tell about it), Gin reflected on what a great Evil day he’d had. When he fell asleep, he dreamed about Sherry. And death involved Sherry.

Such a wonderful dream.

PS. And you were all worried that I wouldn’t write anymore crack. PFFT! I actually scribbled out the basic schedule a long time ago, drawing inspiration from a couple of different sources (most prevalently Eddie Izzard). I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!

Tags: character: gin, fandom: detective conan/magic kaito, fic: 30 evil deeds, misc: theme comm
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