Author: Candyland (candy__chan)
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist: Two brothers search for the Philosopher’s Stone to fix their bodies, which they screwed up when they sort of attempted something forbidden and tried to resurrect their dead mother. Ya know. That old story.
Taunt: Have you seen this picture of my fandom’s daughter? She’s adorable!
“You’re being ridiculous,” Alphonse deadpanned—well, as much as a suit of armor can deadpan, anyway. But his brother was being utterly silly. Even more silly than usual.
“I am not being ridiculous!” Edward snapped back. “You just don’t get it!”
“I don’t think—“
“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE THIS SHORT!” he screamed, launching into full-blown Ed Spaz Mode (patent pending), complete with flailing arms, gnashing teeth, and enough fire shooting from his eyes to put Roy Mustang to shame. “NO ONE RESPECTS ME!”
“People respect you!” Al protested, tallying the points off on his fingers. “You’re the youngest State Alchemist in history! You do alchemy without circles! You’re the champion of the people amidst ‘the dogs of the military’! People respect you! I’m the weirdo in the armor!”
“You’re tall!” Ed insisted. “People automatically respect you just for that!”
“It’s not that great, really! I—”
They’d had some strange arguments with strange endings before, but this one took the cake. The fight ended when another man (a stranger) walked up to the seated Alphonse (who was, amusingly enough, still taller than his brother, who was standing), lifted the front of his helmet, dropped a wadded piece of paper in, and lowered the helmet before walking away.
Alphonse opened his front panel and withdrew the crumpled paper ball before giving his brother as much of a Look as the immobile metal face could muster up. And Edward stared. He really couldn’t argue with that. Even at his worst moments, he had never been mistaken for a garbage can. “You win.”
PS. I think this idea came up when I was talking to kaitodoushi over burgers. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!