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09 June 2008 @ 09:03 am
Spoilers (Fanfic100)  
Title: Spoilers
Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: Kaito, Aoko (General series)
Prompt: #97—Writer’s choice
Word Count: 330 words
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: Kaito just can’t help himself, especially at the worst possible moment. Spoilers for the sixth Harry Potter book. Yes, you read that right.

It was the twenty-first day of July, in the year two thousand and seven.

And Kuroba Kaito (along with his best friend and favored target for annoying, Nakamori Aoko…AND approximately ninety percent of the rest of the world population) were waiting eagerly in line to get their hands on a copy of the final Harry Potter book.

When it was his turn, at long last, Kaito paid for his book and eagerly flipped it open to the last chapter as he ducked between some shelves, out of view from the rest of the line. Beside him, Aoko gave him a questioning look, her own copy still firmly closed in her hands. “What are you doing? You aren’t really going to read the last chapter here, are you?”

She got no reply. Instead, Kaito stood there for a moment. Then, in a voice loud enough to be heard throughout the entire book store, he cried out, “OH MY GOD! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!”

The eruption of noise and swearing that came from the rest of the assembled crowd was deafening, and included a few calls for tar, feathers, and various other instruments and items that left Aoko to wonder how exactly they could be used in the painful torture and/or murder of anyone.

After a while, she heard another voice (this one female) say very loudly, “Guys! Wait!”

The mob fell silent.

The same female voice then said, in a somewhat more subdued tone, “…isn’t that book six?”

Another beat of quiet.

Then there was the sound of several dozen people collectively slapping themselves on the forehead.

Still hiding in the stacks, Aoko gave Kaito one of her patented Looks and shook her head. “I am never going anywhere with you. Ever again. EVER. Do you understand me?”

Kaito, meanwhile, glanced at his watch and grinned, that great big smile that said it was good to be alive. “Two minutes and forty-eight seconds for someone to figure it out. Not bad.”


PS. Yes, I realize that I’m about a year too late for this, but the idea wouldn’t shut up and leave me alone. I fought it for about seven months before I just gave in. Damn plunnies have extremely sharp teeth, don’tcha know. Anyway, I hope you at least got a chuckle out of it. I’m going to go have a bath in boiling bleach to clean off the dirty feeling. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!

Fylifyliwionvilyaer on June 9th, 2008 05:20 pm (UTC)
*dies fiercely* And that... is both Kaito and mob mentality (and our obsessions) we don't actually hear what the spoiler was... we just... scream and whine and then go "oh wait I knew that >>"
Candyland: DC: Kaito/Aoko (Lie to you)candyfics on June 11th, 2008 01:39 pm (UTC)
0.0 *revives you!* I think Kaito did it as a social experiment...or something ^^;; Thanks, nice lady! \o/
girlquinn: Chase from girlquinn on June 9th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
I love this because it reminded me of my own lovable but annoying person in my life, my bro-in-law! I dragged him to Barnes and Noble around 11pm at night for the release party of Deathly Hallows (armed with a DS and PSP, of course). He already read the spoilers online and was screaming "Dumbledore lives!! Snape is the Half-blood Prince!" Then he started screaming the epilogue... I wanted to curl in a ball of embarrassment but I would have lost my place in line.

Candyland: MKR [My magic...]candyfics on June 11th, 2008 01:41 pm (UTC)
I know my best friend went to the release of book seven, got her book, and walked out of the store with her fingers in her ears because people were screaming spoilers ^^;;

Oujo-samaakumugan on June 18th, 2008 06:43 pm (UTC)
Haha, who doesn't read the last chapter of the book? *crickets* Oh just me, and Kaito eh? Damn. LOL. My friends scold me everytime I read a book and look at the back. SOmetimes they hit me.
Candyland: DC: Kaitocandyfics on June 19th, 2008 12:58 am (UTC)
It depends on the book. Sometimes I behave myself and wait to see. Sometimes I peek. I'm just devious like that >D

llama1412llama1412 on September 29th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
NICE!!!! I can see him doing that, too.

I'm glad I can read fast. Some many people complained about spoilers when they got that book, but I read it fast enough not to have to worry about it.
Candyland: DC: Aokocandyfics on September 30th, 2008 12:22 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! :D