Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: Kaito/Aoko (General series)
Word Count: 890 words
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: Excuse me, miss, but would you mind if I tried a few lines on you? Allusions to sex and EXTREMELY bad pickup lines within.
There was a reason that Aoko didn’t go to bars very often, she reflected as she sat on the stool and studied her drink. It wasn’t the fact that she usually wound up on the tipsy side of Sears and had to be especially careful going home. It wasn’t the fact that the music was loud enough to make her brain rattle around inside her skull like a peanut in its shell. It wasn’t even the fact that she frequently was witness to some rather intense, ah, activity from the couples around her, and had actually found herself wondering exactly where that person’s hand was.
No, it was because she was attractive enough that there always seemed to be a few guys lurking around who would try to get her personally involved in some of those rather intense, ah, activities.
Tonight was no exception, and as she usually did when she stopped into one of these places, she found herself trying to remember why she had even bothered coming here in the first place. After the third young man stopped to inquire as to her companionship at the bar and her availability for the evening, she sighed and decided that she was going to leave after this drink.
On the bright side, she had probably heard some of the worst pick-up lines in history, and those usually gave her a good laugh after the fact. There were also some surprisingly good ones, and some that were rather adorable or sincere. Those she usually complimented before politely declining.
But tonight was particularly active, she had noticed. She was getting more looks and more offers than she normally did. It wasn’t that she thought herself to be completely unattractive; she knew she was pretty enough to warrant a second glance, though she certainly wasn’t the kind of stunner who could stop traffic with her smile.
She wondered privately if it was because she was wearing blue tonight. It was a color she had always looked good in, she knew. And he had always said that it was really her color. Kaito had told her that many times, really, that she looked beautiful in just about everything she wore, but she should really always wear blue.
The memory made her smile, even though the other memories that came with Kaito’s name did not.
Stupid boy. And stupid her for missing him as much as she did.
As she was looking down at the last few swallows her drink and contemplating getting just one more, someone dropped onto the stool beside her. She didn’t look up. If this person wanted something, they would undoubtedly ask. Otherwise, it wasn’t like the stool beside her was taken. It could be a complete stranger who just happened to choose that stool.
That idea was dashed when the person spoke, a low man’s voice. “This seat isn’t taken, is it?”
“Not at all,” she replied, still not looking up.
“Hey, I was wondering…” the man started. It was on the tip of her tongue to politely decline any offers he might make when he went on, “…if you would let me try some pick-up lines on you. Just to practice. I’m usually kind of nervous about talking to girls, but…I don’t know, you seem very nice.”
Aoko mulled it over for a moment before chuckling; perhaps the alcohol was starting to catch up with her, but she suddenly found this rather funny. “All right. Go ahead. I won’t be falling for any of them, but you’re welcome to run them by me.”
“Oh, that’s all right. Just wanted an honest female opinion. Ready?”
“I miss my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?”
She laughed. “That’s actually kind of cute.”
The grin was evident in his voice. “Thanks. How about…you remind me of a blue-ribbon buck. I don’t know whether I should mount you or eat you.”
“Thought so. Oh!” he snapped his fingers. “Your graphics are even more beautiful than Halo 3!”
“…that one kind of amuses me, to be honest,” she admitted. “What else?”
“You’ve been a bad girl. Go to my room.”
“That one’s old.”
“What do I have to do to be your booty call?”
“If you want an honest answer to that, I’d say don’t use anymore pick-up lines,” Aoko laughed, taking another sip of her drink. This was actually kind of fun. “You know that very few girls would ever actually fall for any of these, right?”
“…it’s worth a shot.”
“True. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
“Well then, I guess I really only have one more pick-up line to try on you,” he said…but his voice had changed. Before it had been a fairly deep baritone. Now it was a lighter, higher tenor, and all too familiar. And she hadn’t heard that voice in ages…
Aoko nearly spilled her drink when she heard it. Her hands were shaking on the bar as she looked up at her companion for the first time, and found herself gazing into blue eyes that she had not seen for far too long, but had missed terribly.
And Kaito was smiling gently; one of his hands reached out to brush her hair back from her cheek as he said, “My last pick-up line is…would you mind if I tried some pick-up lines on you?”
PS. I did a little snippet like this in another story, and it sort of wound up demanding its own full fic. Researching bad pick-up lines is fun, but when I saw the one about trying some, it seemed like the perfect way to tie the whole thing together. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!