Fandom: Ace Attorney
Word Count: 817
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Ace Attorney series. I just sit back and enjoy TEH LAWYER GHEY :D
There were a few things in life that a person just knew they could never expect to see.
The sky turning purple.
Money growing on trees.
Pigs taking to flight.
Paris Hilton declaring herself celibate.
Some things were just so improbable, both by the laws of nature and the grounds of common sense, that any reasonable person would hear of such a thing and laugh it off as an impossibility and go about their lives without giving the matter a second thought.
But in the courtrooms of Los Angeles, there was another such example of an improbable happening. It was something that had never even been entertained as an idea by most because it was just too far out there. The few who had wondered if it was possible promptly drop-kicked the idea from their minds and went about their lives, chuckling at their own silliness.
Phoenix Wright entered the courthouse, briefcase in hand, tie still loose around his neck, piece of toast dangling from his mouth. Another day, another trial. It wouldn’t have been quite so nerve-wracking if he was just going up against Edgeworth, oh no. He and Edgeworth had managed to form a rather unique partnership of sorts when they faced each other from across the courtroom. They would find the truth.
No, today he was to once again face the formidable Franziska von Karma, the prosecuting prodigy with a mean streak a mile wide and a whip to go with it. He suspected that she was a good person deep down, and he had it on Edgeworth’s authority that that was in fact the case. Edgeworth would know best, having grown up with her. But in the courtroom she was just so goddamned scary that it could be hard to believe it.
As he was standing in the lobby, straightening his tie and merrily devouring his belated breakfast, he heard a voice behind him. “Hey, pal!” A glance proved that the incomparable Detective Gumshoe was running towards him. Incomparable because no one really truly wanted to be compared to him.
“Good morning,” Phoenix said between mouthfuls. “What’s the panic?”
“It’s Miss von Karma, pal!” the detective blurted. “Something’s weird, pal!”
Phoenix managed to not wince. “Weird?”
“Well, she’s acting all—ACK!” Gumshoe looked over his shoulder, yelped, and started running again.
Phoenix blinked. Oh boy. She must really be on the rampage this morning—
…that was Franziska’s voice, all right. And it certainly fit with her habit of addressing people by their full names (if she had not assigned them nicknames, like Scruffy). But the tone of her voice. It was…it was…
Cheerful. Almost sing-song-y.
She was waving as she walked quickly towards him wearing a smile so big that her face was practically sparkling. “Good morning, Phoenix Wright! How are you today? Is it not a wonderful morning?” she chattered, looking the happiest he had ever seen her. And her trademark whip was nowhere to be seen.
“Err, I’m…good?” he managed.
“Wonderful!” she said happily, clapping her hands. “This will be a good day. I will win, of course. Oh, your tie is crooked.” Before he could manage anything, she reached up with gloved hands and straightened it. “There! Perfect!” She glanced past him, and her smile got a bit bigger. “Oh! Detective!”
Phoenix watched in absolute shock as Franziska von Karma, the young demon of the courtroom, rushed towards the hapless Detective Gumshoe, who was trying to hide himself behind one of the potted plants in the lobby. She proceeded to ruffle his hair and inquire as to whether or not he was wearing a new coat on this fine morning.
This time it was Edgeworth who addressed him. Phoenix gaped. “That…is that Miss von Karma?” It had to be some sort of body-snatcher thing or alien or pod person or robot or something.
Miles Edgeworth managed a dry chuckle. “Yes. It is.”
“But…how?” Phoenix asked.
Before Edgeworth could answer, Franziska bounded back over. “Miles Edgeworth! Good morning!” she smiled. “How is my darling little brother today?”
“Fine. Yourself?” Edgeworth returned the smile, although his was a bit smaller.
“I am eager to get into court and beat Phoenix Wright,” she cheered, tilting her head to one side. Then her eyes widened. “Oh, there is my witness. I must go.” She waved at the others. “I will see you in court soon, Phoenix Wright!”
As she bounced off—and bounced was the only way to describe it—Phoenix approached Miles. “Err, Edgeworth. You seemed to take that relatively in stride. Care to explain to the rest of us?” It stood to reason that if anyone knew, it would be Edgeworth. He had grown up with her, after all.
Edgeworth visibly hesitated, then sighed and said, “Well, I suppose that there’s no delicate way to put this, so I’ll just be blunt. When Franziska has PMS…”
PS. Came up in discussion with my best friend kaitodoushi. She gives me lots of ideas. And the mental image of Franziska being all sparkly and nice was just too much fun to ignore. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!