Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: Shinichi, Ran, Yuusaku, Yukiko (General series)
Word Count: 3595 words
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: Shinichi wished his parents had told him this BEFORE they left the planet’s surface.
The phone rang, and Ran answered it, speaking for a second before calling, “Conan-kun! Phone!”
There was only a limited number of people it could be, he knew. Agasa. Haibara. The three children who called themselves the Shounen Tantei. Possibly someone from the police, but that was rather unlikely. Or it could possibly be…
“Ah, Shin-chan!” Yukiko’s voice trilled through the receiver.
He winced and resisted the urge to jerk away. If Ran heard it, he was in deep kimchee. Frowning and fighting to keep himself calm and composed, he replied, “Don’t call me that. You know better.”
“Oh, you’re no fun,” she said, and he could actually picture her pouting in his mind. Still, she was as resilient as ever, and went on quickly. “But listen, your father and I are at the house, and we’d love to see you. Could you stop by today? I know it’s short notice, but…well, we’re leaving this evening.”
Something about her tone and the way she said those final words, we’re leaving this evening, gave him pause. And he had the sudden, strange inkling that there was something he wasn’t being told. “Why so soon? Where are you going?” he asked, both seeming like relatively safe, neutral questions.
“Shin-chan, please just come by as soon as you can.”
And to his amazement, she hung up on him.
Conan stared at the receiver in his hand for a moment, barely hearing its melodious beeping or Ran calling his name and asking what he was doing and was everything all right. His parents did have a sad, annoying tendency towards the cryptic, but this was out there even for them.
And the worst part was that he knew exactly why his mother had done that in the manner she had. She dropped the bug in his ear and left him hanging, secure in the knowledge that his curiosity would not allow him peace until he had investigated and discovered whatever it was that she was hiding. And she was right, infuriatingly enough. He had to know what was going on.
He hung up the phone and gave Ran his best and biggest Happy Little Boy Smile before announcing that he was going over to Agasa’s house for a while and would probably be back in time for dinner, but if he was going to be late he would call. Somehow, though, she didn’t look terribly convinced, and tried to ask who that phone call was from and was he really going to Agasa’s and maybe she should walk him there.
It was only due to luck, determination, and a bout of extremely selective hearing that he got his shoes on and made it out the door without having to answer that potent little question. Ran was left staring at the closed door, wondering what in the world was going on.
In hindsight, Shinichi realized that maybe he shouldn’t have been stupid enough to let his overwhelming curiosity lead him to his former doorstep and right into his parents’ waiting hands.
Of course, he only realized this gargantuan mistake after he smelled the drug being held beneath his nose. His mind, already enveloped in that pleasant haze, was barely able to register the odor as a sleeping drug, though he was unable to recall the name of it before he lost the fight for consciousness and slipped away into innocent slumber.
He dreamt happily of orange peels, though he didn’t quite know why.
When he woke up again, he was…wait, where the hell was he?
When the little naptime drug had taken effect, he had been just inside the doorway of his family’s home. Now he was lying on a table or a gurney of some sort, in a room with walls seemingly made of computers. There were blinking lights everywhere, and he could hear a low, steady beeping noise.
To be honest, it looked like something out of a science fiction movie.
And it was about to get a whole lot stranger.
There was a metallic whooshing sound nearby, and he immediately whipped around to find the source of it. Namely, a pair of doors sliding open to allow a person passage through them before sliding shut once again with that same odd hissing noise. The person was a woman with neatly styled brown hair, dressed in some sort of dark green uniform. She approached the gurney and actually bowed before smiling at him. “Ah, you have awakened. Excellent.”
Shinichi blinked at her, confused. In the back of his mind, he was starting to wonder if maybe the Black Organization had finally caught up to him and this was all some sort of trick or trap and they were now going to start performing all sorts of horrendous experiments on him and—
“If you are able to walk, Highness, please come with me.”
…that stopped his thought processes cold. Highness?
This was getting weirder and weirder by the second.
Still, he hopped down from the table, wobbling only slightly as he landed shakily on his feet. The woman began to lead him back towards the doors, which again parted and closed behind them with twin hissing noises to mark the movement. Now they were out in an arched corridor. The whole place seemed to be made of metal with a whole lot of blinking lights everywhere.
If Shinichi didn’t know better, he would have thought that he was on some sort of spaceship.
“So, ah…who are you?” he finally asked the woman after they had been walking side by side for a moment or two. She was actually slowing her steps to account for his shorter legs, and for that alone he was perfectly willing to like the woman, stranger that she was to him.
“A humble servant, Highness,” she said with that same smile.
“…why do you keep calling me Highness?” Shinichi asked.
“Ah. They said you did not know of it. Well, I will let His Majesty explain it to you,” she said.
“Who is that?”
Another pair of doors opened, this one revealing a large domed room decorated all in blue and gold. In the center of the room was a round table, and standing beside that table, leaning over it to study some papers spread across it, were—
Before he could even react, Shinichi found himself being hoisted off his feet and squeezed far too tightly for comfort. “M-Mom?” he gaped. “Wh-what are you doing here? Where are we?” He kicked and wriggled until she was forced to let go of him and put his feet back on the ground. “What’s going on?”
Yuusaku appeared behind Yukiko. “Shinichi, calm down. You’re making a scene.”
“…well, what the hell do you expect??” he asked loudly. “You drug me and drag me to…to wherever the hell this is without a word of explanation, and you expect me to be calm? And…and…” He paused. “…and what are you wearing?”
“Oh, this?” Yukiko giggled and modeled her dark blue ensemble. “It was a gift from the crew. Lovely, isn’t it? After all, if we’re going to the planet, we should look the part!”
“…planet?” Shinichi said. He had a very bad feeling about this.
It seemed like everyone in the world (as the case may be) was determined to keep Shinichi from getting any sort of answers because the doors opened behind him and he was nearly run over by an excited man in a white coat. “We have it!” the man squeaked. “It is ready!”
“Excellent, and thank you,” Yuusaku said with a smile before turning to his stupefied son. “Shinichi, come along. Let’s take care of this first.” He strolled towards the doors, following the man.
“I’m not getting an explanation until I do this, am I?”
“No. Not at all.”
The man led them to yet another room a few doors over. This one looked like a mad scientist’s laboratory, with vials and odd gadgets and all sorts of other things scattered around the room. He could only imagine Ran trying to organize this place, as it was worse than most of her father’s messes.
The white-coated man produced a small blue case and handed it to Yuusaku. “Our tests show that this should take care of the matter as you requested,” he said in that same high, thin voice.
Yuusaku promptly passed the case to Shinichi. “Take this.”
A glance inside the case proved that there was a single pill inside. “You want me to take this?”
“The scientists on board have been working nonstop on your condition since we brought you onto the ship. This is the antidote,” he said matter of factly.
“…how long have I been on board?”
“About two hours.”
“Haibara’s been working on this for months!”
“Shinichi. Take the pill if you would like any sort of explanation.”
The transformation was just as painful as Shinichi remembered it, and he recalled exactly why he was so thankful that he would usually lose consciousness partway through the actual change. Still, when he opened his eyes, he found himself alone in the room with a small pile of fabric next to him. A closer inspection proved that these were clothes, of a similar style to the ones his parents were wearing. They were certainly nothing he had ever seen in Tokyo.
…but as his only other option was nudity, and he had a strong sense of both decency and modesty, he pulled the clothes on. They were definitely interesting, but not uncomfortable. Once he was properly attired, he went in search of his parents with every intention of punching his father in the nose.
He located his parents in the room with the table, conversing with a man wearing an official-looking hat. When he entered, the man bowed to him and took his leave, leaving Shinichi alone with his parents. “Okay, what the hell is going on?” he asked, trying to fight off the last remnants of dizziness that were trying to make him tip over sideways.
“Shin-chan, maybe you should sit down?” Yukiko suggested, taking his hand and guiding him towards an oddly-shaped chair that proved to be far more comfortable than it looked. “Now, you have questions—“
“Highness!” the man with the hat burst back into the room, his face red and alarmed. “There is an intruder on board this ship! And she seems to be searching for someone—she is plowing through everyone, and—“
Shinichi froze. He knew that voice…
Sure enough, Mouri Ran skidded into view, her fists clenched and her eyes blazing. “Where is Co…nan…” she trailed off when she saw who was in the room. Namely, a very confused Kudo Shinichi and his very startled parents. Ran froze, then straightened. “Sh-Shinichi?”
…why did he have the feeling that things had just gotten even worse?
It took several minutes to calm Ran down, and even longer to calm the rest of the crew on the ship, most of whom were frightened out of their wits. She sat silently in the room with Shinichi while his parents went out to handle things, her hands folded in her lap. Somehow, she had apparently done something very wrong.
In the interim, Shinichi asked her how she had come to end up on this ship.
Ran flushed, but told the story. She had been a bit concerned about Conan’s evasiveness regarding what was going on and where he was off to. So after the boy had left, she had decided to go after him and see what the deal was. When she had arrived on the appropriate block, she’d had to walk past the Kudo house to get to Agasa’s. And she had seen Conan, seemingly unconscious, being carried into a strange silver vehicle of some kind.
Fearing the worst, she had followed him on board, determined to find and rescue her young charge.
And now she was apparently in space, heading towards some unknown planet.
As her story drew to a close, she gave Shinichi a suspicious look and asked if he knew where Conan was.
When no rescue came, he sighed. She would turn the place upside down to find the kid. That was Ran. Stubborn and determined and unafraid of any potential danger when it came to protecting those dear to her. She had seen Conan enter the ship, although not of his own free will, so saying that Conan wasn’t on board would probably just make her more suspicious.
…it seemed that the gig was up.
Ran listened to the story very, VERY quietly, her hands fidgeting in her lap. And she was quiet long after he had finished by explaining that apparently someone on board this ship had been able to figure out an antidote within the space of a couple of hours, as opposed to Haibara working on it for months and having precious little success.
Just as Shinichi was about to speak up again, the doors slid open and a rather amused-looking Yukiko entered. “Ran-chan, you’ve certainly made an impression on the crew!” the former actress trilled, causing the poor girl to blush. “But I think we have everything calmed down. Now you wanted to know what’s going on, right?”
“Please!” Shinichi exploded, thankful that something was finally happening to relieve some of the tension. “Just tell me—err, us what’s going on already!”
“I should wait for your father, but I suspect he’s busy convincing the Council Representatives that Ran is not a danger or a threat to anyone,” she chuckled before focusing on her son. “Shin-chan, there’s something you should know.”
“You’re only half-human.”
Yukiko absently twirled a lock of hair around her finger, betraying nerves that her face and posture did not reflect. “I am a full-fledged human, and I was born on Earth. Your father, however, was not. “
“…you have got to be joking.”
“It’s not a joke, Shin-chan. And I’ll go you one better,” Yukiko said with a grin. “He’s actually a prince.”
“…would you just explain the whole damn story?” Shinichi said, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He was starting to get one hell of a headache.
“Yuusaku was born on the planet Iamsmarterthanjoo, home of the Smartarian race. He was the only son of the ruling family,” Yukiko explained, ignoring the incredulous look her child was giving her. “He had to leave when the Council got upset because he skipped one too many meetings, and so he hopped in a ship and went planet-hopping for a while.”
…somehow, Shinichi had to admit that a lot of this sounded very much like his father.
“When he landed on Earth, he realized that Earthlings knew how to have a good time, and decided to crash there for a while. Not long after that, he and I met. And we fell in love and got married and had you, and we’ve been living quite happily on Earth ever since.”
“Wait, wait, wait! You knew about this?”
“Of course I did,” Yukiko smiled. “He told me not long after he proposed. I had a right to know exactly who I was ultimately going to marry. But as I’m sure you can guess, it didn’t bother me.” She tapped her finger thoughtfully against her chin. “Although it was a little strange to think that I’d technically be a princess when we did get married…”
“So wait, wait, wait!” Shinichi waved a hand in the air. “You’re telling me that Dad’s an alien?”
“…even after all those times he told me there was no such thing as ghosts or UFOs?”
“…well, to be fair, UFO does stand for Unidentified Flying Object,” Yukiko said smoothly, “and to Yuusaku, they were not unidentified. He knew exactly what they were. So it wasn’t technically a lie.”
“…I hate you both.”
“We love you too.”
“E-excuse me…” Ran spoke up, the first time she had interjected into this conversation. “So…he’s been on Earth all this time. Why are you going back to the planet now?”
Yukiko’s expression saddened. “A messenger arrived. Yuusaku’s father, the king…he has passed away. The message was from his mother, asking that he return as soon as possible to Iamsmarterthanjoo to help set affairs in order. Because his mother is not a young woman, and her health is failing. Yuusaku is next in line for the throne, so he must decide if he will take it, or abdicate and choose another heir.”
“…so why am I being dragged along on this little joyride?” Shinichi deadpanned.
“Your grandmother wanted to meet you at least once before she passed,” Yukiko said. “And furthermore, whether you like it or not, you are yourself technically a prince as well. It might happen that when you are there, you will be crowned.”
“But I don’t want to live on another planet!” he said indignantly. “I like Earth just fine!”
“Oh, hush. Just think of it as an adventure.”
“…like your driving?”
“Quiet, you. Ran-chan,” Yukiko turned to the girl, her face and voice apologetic. “I am sorry that you had to get wrapped up in all of this. It was not our intention. But since you are here, you know the truth. Shin-chan is half-human and half-alien. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”
“…well, it certainly does explain a lot.”
Yuusaku chose that moment to come back in, accompanied by two men. He looked somewhere between harried and amused. “You’re not going to believe what the Council representatives just told me. Apparently, there’s a bit of a plan in the works.”
“Me?” he squeaked.
“Well, you are next in line for the throne,” Yuusaku said airily. “And they accept that you have the proper qualifications to be the ruler of our great people. However, they are also planning to marry you off to a full-blooded Smartarian noble as soon as possible to bring the bloodline a bit closer back to home, if you understand.”
“Wait, WHAT?” Shinichi jumped to his feet, hands clenched into fists at his sides; he was only half aware that Ran had done the same. “No way! It’s bad enough that I’m getting dragged halfway across the universe with half an explanation as to why, but now you’re telling me that I’m going to be marrying some complete stranger because a group of guys I’ve never met said I have to?”
“More or less.”
With a whooshing sound, the metal doors parted once again, and two men scurried in. “Ah,” Yuusaku gestured. “These are the Council representatives.”
“I hate them already,” Shinichi said in a flat voice.
“Shinichi, behave,” Yukiko warned.
One of the men, the taller of the two, looked like he was going to say something, but froze when he saw Ran. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before taking a step back. “Y-you!”
Ran looked lost for a moment; then the light came on. “Oh, I ran into you in the hallway!”
“You hit me with a chair!” the man said, pointing an accusatory finger.
“You tried to grab me,” she said simply. “I panicked.”
Shinichi could barely suppress a chuckle at the mental image of Ran going WWF on a random alien person with a space chair. It was one of those moments he wished he could have seen first hand.
“Highness,” the shorter of the two men addressed Yuusaku in a high, frightened voice. “This…this woman cannot be allowed to roam freely on the ship. She is a menace, a danger to us all! She must be placed under imprisonment immediately.”
“Ran-chan?” Yuusaku raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary. I think it was a bit of a misunderstanding. Besides,” now the look in his eyes turned mischievous, “I highly doubt that Shinichi will stand for that. He’s rather fond of her.” A grin. “Possibly with intention to marry.”
Now it was Shinichi’s turn to have all the color drain from his face.
“M-marry?” Short gaped. “B-but she is not of the blood, and—“ He froze when he saw the look on Ran’s face. She had stepped up and placed a hand on Shinichi’s arm, and was giving the Councilman a look that just dared him to disagree with her. “…I will ask the rest of the Council.”
They all but fled the room.
Shinichi gave his father a glare that could have killed a small animal or child. “Are you trying to make me hate you, or are you really this ignorant?”
Yuusaku’s eyebrow arched a bit higher. “Are you saying you’d rather be married off to a stranger?”
“I thought as much.”
The conversation more or less died there, with Ran hanging onto Shinichi’s arm and Yukiko and Yuusaku both looking extremely amused by the whole proceedings.
When the two Councilmen came back, they looked extremely cowed. “The Council had decided that perhaps it would be best for the young prince to wed the girl of Earth.”
“W-WHAT?” Shinichi’s jaw crashed to the floor at his feet. Not that he really minded marrying Ran or anything, but the announcement just added to the overwhelming feeling of ‘what the hell?’ that had plagued his entire day so far. This was not happening…
“We explained the situation, and this is the decision we have come to.”
Ran smiled sweetly. “I accept.”
“The reasoning is simple, Highness,” Tall Councilman said to Shinichi. “…no one wants to tell her no.”
PS. This fic exists for a few reasons. First, this was a comment session I had with someone on LJ a long time ago, and it just kept demanding to be ficced. Secondly, I realized that I hadn’t done any weird crack in this challenge, and sought to remedy it. Thirdly, I didn’t feel like writing something had a point or flowed together in any pleasant or coherent sense. And finally, it gave me the chance to use the phrase “space chair” in context. Bliss :D
Thanks for reading, all! Much love!
ETA: When I wrote this, I couldn't remember who I had the conversation with, and I couldn't remember which post had the thread on it. It was wren_chan the utterly amazing!