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31 December 2008 @ 06:12 pm
Yellow: The Books (PL)  
Title: Yellow: The Books
Fandom: Professor Layton
Rating: PG
Word Count: 624
Genre: Humor, crack
Disclaimer: I don't own Professor Layton. Or his top-hat of awesome.
Teaser: We are both hot. Therefore, there are certain things we should be doing. Layton/Legal


Layton jumped a good meter out of his chair at the combined sound of the door being flung open into the wall hard enough to jostle all the pictures (now they all were hanging at stylish angles) and the sound of his name being shouted loudly enough to be heard in Japan.

He did what little he could to steady and right himself as his apprentice’s future self stalked into the office. “Y-yes, Luke?”

Luke’s elder self marched up to the desk and placed both hands firmly on the top of it, leaning his weight on them as he almost slid across the desk (the movement was bordering on cat-like) to put his face right in front of his teacher’s. “Professor.”

“Good heavens, Luke, what is it that you need?” Layton asked, now a bit irritated at the interruption of his work as well as confused at what exactly was going on.

“Professor, it has recently been brought to my attention that you are hot,” Luke said, his eyes boring directly into Layton’s. While the Professor gaped, Luke lifted one hand and reached into the pocket of his blazer to withdraw a folded piece of paper. “And according to this letter, I am also very hot.”

Distraction alert!

Layton gestured towards the piece of paper. “A letter? And who, pray tell, sent such a letter?”

Luke straightened up completely and unfolded it. “Well, it is signed from the many screaming fangirls of the Professor Layton LiveJournal Community, followed by a whole bunch of names. But according to them, we are both hot. And they back up what they have written in this letter by including what they refer to as their two ancient and mystical texts.”

Now Luke produced two books. Layton picked up the first one, which had a rather garish black and yellow cover. And he read the title out loud. “Writing Incredibly Hot Messy Sexy Teacher/Student Yaoi Smut for Dummies?”

“Yes. They sent that, and also this,” Luke held out the other book, a thick affair with a hard cover with the title across the front in gold script.

Layton read this one out loud as well. “The Big Book of Fandom Cliches?” Layton now looked up at his apprentice with a very dubious gaze. “You cannot possibly be serious.”

“I am completely serious, Professor. Please reference the chapter on yaoi and slash. It starts on page four hundred and eighty-two,” Luke added. “And according to the letter and both of these books, since we are both incredibly hot males, we should be having sex.” He tilted his head, making his hat slid down over his bangs at an admittedly charming angle. “Lots and lots of sex.”

Layton blinked. “…we should?”

“Professor, we should have started having filthy sex a week ago!” Luke said, rolling his eyes skyward. An odd sentiment, considering that the elder Luke had only appeared eight days ago. “On the floor, the desk, it doesn’t matter! It is a law of nature!”

Professor Layton still did not look completely convinced.

Luke slid around the desk and moved to sit on the desk, putting himself directly between Layton and the desk. He put one hand on Layton’s shoulder and with his other hand he pulled something else out of his pocket. It appeared to be a large yellow puzzle piece with two pieces of string tied to it, one on either side. What an odd thing to be carrying around.

And the way he smiled as he held up the puzzle piece-shaped thing could only be called seductive. “Do you want me to wear the mask?”

For a moment, Layton was silent.

Then he looked up at Luke with a raised eyebrow. “…on the floor, you say?”

June: Legal Rapeartrica on January 1st, 2009 12:41 am (UTC)
*dead from pure awesome*
Candylandcandyfics on January 8th, 2009 02:34 am (UTC)
0.0 *o-offers revival potion or something?* Thanks!
Heidi: WTForigamigryphon on January 1st, 2009 02:07 am (UTC)
Oh my god

I think I'll join art_chan on the floor, being dead. XDDD
Candylandcandyfics on January 8th, 2009 02:34 am (UTC)
Thank yo-- *looks around the floor of my fic-journal* ...WHY IS EVERYONE DYING? *hides the bodies in the closet*
emily.emilyenigmax2 on January 1st, 2009 04:41 am (UTC)
I lol'd.
Candylandcandyfics on January 8th, 2009 02:35 am (UTC)
Thanks! XD
poop.ariga_ten on January 1st, 2009 05:38 am (UTC)
/ded forever

Candylandcandyfics on January 8th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)

Thank you ♥♥♥
mitoko_sohmamitoko_sohma on January 1st, 2009 05:50 am (UTC)
“Lots and lots of sex.”

Yes to this. Yes. How much convincing could the Professor possibly need? Geez, just do it already XD

PUZZLE MASK. Something that I think any true fan would carry around in their pants pocket when traveling with such a dashing Professor. Though I do wonder what this... was spouted from XDD But I ain't complaining <3
Candylandcandyfics on January 8th, 2009 02:37 am (UTC)
He's trying to be a gentleman, and gentlemen don't go around doing their apprentice's future selves up the bum! It's in the rulebook! Really. Truly. Honestly.

*laugh* Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
Candylandcandyfics on January 8th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
Thank you! ...maybe I can use it to bribe Level-5 into giving us a release date for game two...