Fandom: Detective Conan
Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan. But I do have homemade hand-puppets for each character...that's normal, right?
“Oh, come on, guys,” Ran shook her head and laughed at the two trailing along behind her. “It’s not that bad. Really. It’s not.” Try as she might, though, she couldn’t quite keep the very tiny giggle from escaping her right at the end of that sentence.
Behind her, Kudo Shinichi (currently inhabiting Ran’s own body) and Hattori Heiji (still very much his ahou self) were both glaring at everything around them, looking everywhere but at each other. Heiji had his arms crossed. Shinichi was trying to cross his arms as well, but due to certain recently acquired frontal aspects of his temporary body, he was having a bit of difficulty in accomplishing that simple feat. Finally he just gave up and shoved his hands into the pockets of the jeans he was wearing.
The two had been acting like children ever since the waitress had made the comment about them being such an adorable couple with such good communication. And if there had ever existed a more fitting situation to the phrase “acting like children,” Ran would eat Conan’s super powered sneakers.
With soy sauce and maybe some rice.
It was funny, and the aftermath had been amusing. But now it was just starting to get old. “Shinichi. Hattori-kun,” she said finally, turning and glaring up at them with all the imposing force of her seven year old form. “That’s enough. Look, we all know what the situation is. That waitress didn’t. Take it as a compliment and move on.”
“A compliment?” Shinichi sputtered. “What kind of compliment could that possibly be?”
Ran thought for a moment, studied Heiji’s face, then smiled. “It’s a compliment for me.”
“Yeah,” Ran grinned as she turned and started walking again. “I have good taste.”
Heiji got it a second before Shinichi did, and offered it up verbally to his confuddled friend. “Kudo, I think the translation there is that I’m hot.”
Try as he might to hold it in, the big dumb grin refused to stay off his face, and he beamed. What could he do, though? Really? His best friend’s girlfriend (he refused to even say that the two were anything less than a pair) had just cheerfully admitted to finding him attractive. He could practically hear his ego inflating, like someone had just hooked up a big ol’ air compressor.
Shinichi glowered and Shinichi glared…
And then Shinichi grinned. “Maybe I should mention that to Kazuha-chan,” he said lightly.
“What good would that do?” Heiji asked, baffled.
“You like Ran as a friend, right?”
“You want her to stay in good health?”
“I’m glad to hear it. So now, Hattori, what is Kazuha-chan’s default reaction towards any girl who gets close to you or expresses any interest in you at all?” Shinichi asked.
“Neechan, let’s not repeat this conversation to Kazuha. She might try to kill you,” Heiji said finally.
In Osaka, Toyama Kazuha was bent over her plans for vengeance. Heiji had blown her off one too many times to go running off and doing whatever the hell it was that he did, the stupid ahou. So now she was plotting revenge on him.
Nothing that would permanently damage him, of course. She rather liked having him in one piece, for a wide variety of reasons (including a few reasons that would stay extremely well-hidden inside the most private portions of her mind, thank you very much). But a bit of pain would do an ahou good.
She was busily designing the part of her Revenge Machine that flung the weasels across the room when suddenly she sneezed hard enough to rattle her teeth. Kazuha sat up and glanced around. She sensed a disturbance in the force. That feeling could only mean one thing. Somewhere, somehow…
…a girl had just complimented Heiji.
Kazuha decided that she really needed to put him on a leash. It was for his own good and his own protection. She vowed to do this right after she finished designing her machine, the next step of which consisted of figuring out the best angle for the toilet plunger.
Heiji glanced up towards the sky, a chill running down his spine. “I have a bad feeling all of a sudden…as though Kazuha just plotted something really evil against me, and then fell silent.”
Shinichi shrugged. “Probably just your imagination.”
“…eh, you’re probably right.”
“So what do we want to do?” Ran asked. “We can’t just walk around like this all day. Let’s do something fun!” She bounced from one foot to the next as she spoke, looking every inch the excited child.
“Like what?” Shinichi asked.
“I don’t know. What’s around here?” Ran looked around, glancing all over, until she spotted lights nearby. “How about we go there?” She pointed towards the lights and started marching in their direction. “Lights generally mean something fun!”
When they saw exactly what the lights were, however, Shinichi’s enthusiasm tanked to an all-time low, and he skidded to a stop fast enough to melt the bottom of Ran’s sneakers. “Oh no, I am not going in there. You cannot pay me enough to want to go back into that place.”
They were standing in front of Tropical Land.
Ran looked up at it, then back at him. “Why not?”
“Because this is where—“
“I thought you were out of the park when that happened,” she asked.
“Didn’t you chase him across the street or something?”
“Right, so nothing to be afraid of. Let’s go!”
Heiji smirked as Shinichi sighed and started walking towards the gate with steps that only dragged a little. It was always fun to watch Ran pull stuff like that. No one else could get Kudo to do stuff like that. For all the protests, he really did have a hard time saying no to her.
They made their way up to the front gate and quickly paid their entry fee before making their way into the park; the woman at the ticket counter had given them a very fond look, indicating that she seemed to think they were quite a cute couple. Thankfully for her health and Shinichi and Heiji’s collective blood pressure, she did not actually ay anything to them.
Aside from a couple of new rides or changes to vendors, things had not changed since the last time Shinichi had been there, which he not so privately counted as the Worst Day of His Life. The only redeeming factors of the Worst Day of His Life were that Ran had held his hand on the roller coaster, and that he had found out how Ran felt about him.
He would consider both of those things to be happy. Very happy. If only they hadn’t happened on the same bloody day as the big shrink. He would need to smite Gin extra hard for this after this whole big mess was over and done with.
But in the meantime, Ran had procured a map and was mumbling under her breath, trying to decide where they should go first. “The Mystery Coaster’s over there…but there’s also the pirate ship. Maybe the Scrambler would be a good place to start…oh, or the Black Diamond Coaster, that one’s pretty sweet when you go upside down…”
Heiji had suddenly gone a shade paler. “Black Diamond Coaster?”
Ran looked at him brightly. “Oh, you want to go there? All right, to the coaster!” She pointed down the appropriate path that would lead them to Heiji’s apparent first choice for rides.
Surprisingly, Heiji didn’t move. “Err, I…”
It was Shinichi who twigged on first, and who grinned. Oh, there was much teasing material to be had today, wasn’t there? “Hattori, don’t tell me…oh, there’s no way, no freakin’ way. You can’t be scared of roller coasters, can you?” The last had a slight lilt to the voice to indicate a tiny amount of derision. It was the more eloquent version of one child calling another child a scaredy cat.
Hattori took the bait. “I am not afraid of roller coasters!” he barked.
“Oh really?” Shinichi said. “Then what’s the hold up?”
“I just don’t really like roller coasters, that’s all,” Heiji said imperiously.
“…you’re scared of them.”
“I am not!”
Oh, how two little words could cause so much injury to a person’s pride if their challenge was left unmet. Heiji visibly wavered for only a moment before his chin jutted out defiantly. “Fine. Let’s go get on this Black Diamond Coaster. It’ll be fun!”
Shinichi privately claimed victory.
Ran wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but she assumed that it was amusing.
Fortunately, there wasn’t much of a line, so they were able to get on the coaster quickly; they only had to wait for two full sets of passengers to go in front of them. Heiji continued to grow paler and paler until his face was almost the same color as Shinichi’s own. Then he started turning faintly green as they moved closer and closer. Ran was starting to look worried.
Seeing an opportunity that could not be missed, Shinichi smiled and gave Hattori a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Do you want me to hold your hand on the ride?”
“No, Kudo.” Heiji’s voice was pure acid. “No, I do not.”
There was a pause then as someone whispered something about the ‘cute couple,’ and both teenagers were distracted from their fight and preoccupied with many disclaimers and much flailing of arms.
As they climbed into the car, thought, Shinichi wondered if Hattori was reconsidering that offer. He and Ran sat next to each other (and Ran assured the attendant that no, she wasn’t scared at all because Big Sister was there to keep her safe). Hattori didn’t say a word or make a sound. But when Shinichi glanced back, he did see that Hattori was holding onto his safety harness hard enough to turn his knuckles white.
Then the ride began to move.
As far as roller coasters went, it was pretty badass. It twisted and turned and dipped and crested and spun and went upside down three times! Everyone in the cars screamed, cheered, and laughed as their stomachs were collectively sent shooting up into their throats before being dropped down into their feet by another sudden change in direction.
When the ride came to a stop, everyone climbed off…
Except Hattori, who was now as green as a bottle of Mountain Dew, and had to sit for a moment before he shakily got up and stumbled away from the car, brushing aside Shinichi’s offer of assistance.
“You know, you really didn’t have to go on the ride, Hattori-kun,” Ran said a few minutes later. Heiji was sitting on a bench with a bottle of water. His normal pallor had already returned somewhat, but he kept glaring at Shinichi, who had the grace to at least look a bit sheepish.
“Can we go on something that doesn’t go upside down now?” Heiji asked.
“There’s a Ferris Wheel?” Shinichi pointed out.
The Ferris Wheel, they all decided, was a good idea. Off they went. They all wound up in the same car, despite a couple of jokes as to whether or not certain persons would like to ride alone. Slowly, they began to climb up towards the sky in a long arc.
For the moment, at least, everything was pleasant and relaxed. They didn’t say much, choosing instead to just watch out the window as they moved. It was a nice view, both of the park itself and of the area surrounding the park.
As they were nearing the peak of the ride, Ran sighed. She was sitting on her knees on the bench with her arms resting on the back of the seat to look out the side window. “You know, it’s sort of weird, but between being up here and being stuck in a smaller body…it’s like a big secret. Like I’m seeing something that no one else will ever really get to see.”
Heiji’s jaw dropped. “You can see Harvey?”
Shinichi snorted. “For God’s sake, Hattori, no one’s going to get that reference.”
The Ferris Wheel carriage shook for a moment as the fourth wall trembled and cracked.
This time it was Shinichi’s turn to look sheepish at it. “Whoops. Sorry.”
“That’s not actually what I meant, Shinichi,” Ran said slowly. Although being able to see a six foot tall rabbit would be pretty neat, in a nightmare-inducing kind of way. “I guess I meant that it’s like I’m seeing the whole world through completely different eyes, from a whole bunch of different points of view, and it’s kind of fun.”
“But Neechan, you actually ARE seeing the world through different eyes,” Heiji pointed out, reaching over to point to the glasses perched on her nose. “Last I recall, you had twenty-twenty vision.”
She had the good grace to laugh.
“You’re reminding me that I feel weird without the glasses,” Shinichi said.
Ran took them off and looked at them. “I feel like Clark Kent. Does this mean I can be Superman?”
“Both Hattori and Kaitou Kid have already made that joke,” Shinichi said with a sigh.
“Aww, and here I thought I was being original,” Ran pretended to pout before what he said caught up with her. “Wait. Kaitou Kid said that to you?” When Shinichi nodded, Ran gaped at him without reserve. “Kaitou Kid knows who you are too?”
“I’m pretty sure he does,” Shinichi said thoughtfully. “I’ve got a guess as to when he figured it out, based on circumstances that happened around that time. As near as I can tell, he listened in on a phone call I was making, and put the rest together from there.” He added, in a bit more sullen tone, “And then he apparently decided that he was allowed to pretend to be me whenever he wanted.”
Ran slid down to sit properly in her seat again, one hand pressed to her forehead. “An internationally wanted jewel thief knows where you are. A criminal. And he figured it out before I did. This is not right. This is not fair. I need to punch something…”
Shinichi wondered what had Ran the most upset: that Kaitou Kid knew where Shinichi had been hiding, that Kaitou Kid had figured out where Shinichi had been hiding before she did, or that Shinichi himself did not seem to be terribly worried about the fact that Kaitou Kid knew where Shinichi had been hiding.
Even now, as he thought about it, he still wasn’t worried. If the thief was going to blow his cover sky high, chances were that he probably would have done so by now. Besides, when one had one’s own secret identity and relied on said secret identity for protection, one really didn’t have the right to go around blowing the lid off other people’s protective secret identities.
…the more Shinichi pondered this, the more he felt like an undercover secret agent.
Shinichi. Kudo Shinichi. Double oh seven certainly fit the age.
Did that mean that Ran was a Bond girl?
He glanced down at himself and his current body and grinned. It was an entertaining thought.
Heiji apparently noticed his expression. “Whatever you’re thinking, I don’t think I want to know.” Ran, meanwhile, seemed to have momentarily forgotten the whole Kaitou Kid affair, and reached up to smack him soundly on the head for openly ogling her body. And then she smacked him on the head again when he protested.
Once they were back on the ground, though, he got his revenge. There was an area of the park with rides intended for younger children. And getting Ran over there was as easy as picking her up and carrying her, ignoring her squawk of protest.
Shinichi and Heiji stood outside the teacup ride and smiled and waved at ‘Conan-kun’ as he went around and around and around in the teacups, surrounded by a lot of screaming kindergarteners. Ran, for her unwilling part in the matter, glared at them in a manner that indicated death would soon follow. Their deaths, specifically. Painful deaths.
If looks were arrows, both the teenaged detectives would have been pincushions.
“I don’t really consider myself easy to bribe, but you two are officially off the hook,” Ran said, happily slurping at a frozen lemonade. It was a peace offering, extended after she had been freed from the confines of the kiddy rides, horror of horrors.
“What else do we want to go on?” Shinichi asked. He had borrowed Ran’s map.
They went on the Mystery Coaster. Hattori stayed firmly on the ground and waited for them by the exit. Fortunately, things this time went off without a hitch, and everyone left the coaster with their heads intact. There were also no mysterious men in black with questionable tastes in hairstyles on the ride. Thumbs up all around.
On their way to the pirate ship, they were accosted by some middle school girls who were fans of Heiji’s, wanting autographs. They glared at Shinichi and demanded to know who ‘she’ was. Ran spoke up from down by their kneecaps and said that Heiji-niichan was helping Ran-neechan babysit today. The girls cooed appropriately at what a nice guy he was. Heiji preened; Shinichi looked faintly ill.
Finally they made it to the pirate ship. Heiji went on the ride with them, and only looked slightly green at it. Apparently he was only affected by roller coasters, a fact that left Shinichi mystified. He vowed to solve that puzzle, preferably in a manner that involved the use of Haibara’s laboratory, some chemicals, and many sharp lab tools.
The haunted house would have been entertaining, Ran privately thought, if the two stupid detectives hadn’t felt the need to explain how every single bleeping special effect was accomplished. She was somewhat consoled by the fact that she was not the only one who was contemplating adding them to the ghosts in the manor by the end of it all, though.
Instead, she settled for just giving them both a sound smack on the kneecaps and an order to shut up…and then laughed at their expense when a zombie jumped out of a cupboard and they both jumped, yelped, and grabbed onto each other. Ran desperately wished she had a camera.
They hit the Scrambler, which was just plain fun. Ran’s only complaint was that when the ride pulled to the side, she tended to get sort of squished between the two teenagers. But it could have been a lot worse than being caught between Hattori Heiji (who was, again, not bad looking) and having herself sort of pressed against her own br—
They went on the bumper cars just for kicks and giggles. Heiji seemed determined to knock Shinichi into the wall as many times as possible, and Ran took advantage of it to sneak up behind them and hit them both. Then they chased her around the floor for the rest of the time. By that time, they were all laughing like idiots, and it was really hard to tell just who the kid in the trio was.
Shinichi still thought it was Hattori.
As they got off that ride and started excitedly discussing the next one, a big drop of water landed on Ran’s hand. She glanced up with the intention of telling the boys to be careful and not spit on her when they talked, but then another one hit her while both of them had their mouths closed, and she had to rethink her position on that.
It took a moment for them to realize that it had started raining, and they were out in the open, a fair distance away from the nearest cover. It didn’t help any that there was a veritable stampede of people around them, all heading for the same awnings they were.
The rain picked up quickly, and by the time they finally managed to find shelter beneath the awning in front of one of the park’s food vendors, it hard erupted into a full-blown storm with torrents of rain pouring down on the park. It almost wasn’t even worth getting under the protection of that awning at that point. All three of them were completely drenched.
Shinichi crouched down, sitting on his heels. “Well, this is lovely…” he muttered, running his fingers through Ran’s long hair, now wet and quickly tangling beneath his ministrations. Wet clothes didn’t feel any better against the skin of a girl’s body than they did of a guy. He also officially promised himself that he was never going to think about that again.
Ran, in Conan’s body, looked like a wet cat, and was trying to find something dry to use to clean the lenses of the famous glasses. In the end, she just sighed and tucked them into her pocket. “Not like I need them to function,” she said before glancing down at herself. “This…” She hesitated, looking for a genteel and tactful way to describe their situation.
“Sucks, Neechan,” Heiji said with his usual lack of regard for such uncivilized things as tact; he was busily shaking water off his trademark cap, and he didn’t look too terribly pleased with the turn of events. “The word you’re looking for is sucks. This sucks.”
“Agreed times over nine thousand,” Ran admitted.
“…we’re doing worn-out internet jokes now?” Heiji asked.
There was a loud rumble overhead.
“Let’s just say that was thunder,” Heiji said before Shinichi could say a word.
Shinichi gave him a Look, but said nothing on that topic. Instead he straightened up and looked around. “Maybe we should head back to the agency. Change, get some dry clothes, figure out what else we could do for a day.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, and even opened his mouth, but then seemed to decide against it and closed his mouth again.
“What is it?” Ran asked.
“Well, I just noticed something odd,” Shinichi said. “And I mean ‘hole in the fabric of the universe’ odd.” He tapped his chin. “We’ve been out for almost an entire day, and there hasn’t been a mur—”
“BE QUIET!” Ran kicked him in the shins, not caring that she was bruising herself. “Don’t jinx it!”
Shinichi shut up.
When the rain let up a short time later, they left the park with the intention of heading back to the Mouri Detective Agency, possibly by way of the Kudo house to find some clothes for Hattori to borrow. No one really wanted to think too much about how Shinichi and Ran were going to change clothes.
After they were done there, who knew what they would do next? They just had to keep busy until the day came to a close and Ran’s wish ended and the world was returned to its rightful state.
And really, how long could a day take?
PS. Thus far a day has taken…going on four years. Whoops. Anyway, many loves and smooches to fyliwionvilyaer and magicbulletgirl, who read this chapter and assured me repeatedly that it was funny enough for the story, because I was quite worried. It’s been a really long time and all…also, Heiji not taking to roller coasters was just too fun of an image to ignore.
The next chapters are fairly clear in my head, and from there it should be a pretty straight run for the finish line. I will not wait a year and a half before updating again. I do promise that much, at least. Thanks for reading, all! Much love!