Candyland (candyfics) wrote,

Well, Nobody's Perfect (DC)

Title: Well, Nobody's Perfect
Fandom: Detective Conan
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor
Publish Date: 6/26/2006
Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan. But I do have homemade hand-puppets for each character...that's normal, right?

Mouri Ran glared at Shinchi. She was pretty good at that, having had a lot of practice. “So let me get this straight…” she said evenly. “This poison that guy forced you to take…it shrank you?”

“Either I shrank, or the rest of the world got a whole lot bigger. And I told you ‘I’ll be back.’”

“Uh-huh,” Ran said, remembering more than a few rather interesting situations that she and Conan had been in. “You do realize that I’m going to destroy you now, right?” The rant went downhill from there, citing exactly how she was going to destroy him.

The sheepish detective held his tongue until she mentioned cutting him up, putting him in a stew, and feeding him to her father, at which point he interrupted. “I hate to break it to you, but that is called ‘cannabalism,’ Ran, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.”

“Shinichi, I am ready to kill you,” Ran cracked her knuckles. “So you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’” She took one menacing step towards him. “Well, do ya, punk?”

“…not really, no,” he said honestly, feeling a thin trickle of nervous sweat run down the back of his neck. “Ran, you’re not really going to kill me, are you?” When she took another step towards him, he instinctively took a step backwards. “Surely you can’t be serious!”

“I am serious,” she replied. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

“…love means never having to say you’re sorry?” he tried.

Ran rolled her eyes and drew her fist back. She’d give him points for trying, but she needed an outlet, and he was conveniently there and not running. “Say hello to my little friend!”

Shinichi braced himself for impact. Houston, we have a problem…

At the sound of the crash, several people came flying into the room to find Ran standing triumphantly over the guy she’d just KO’d. And Shinichi was down on the floor, all swirly-eyed and muttering something that sounded a lot like, “There’s no crying in baseball…”

As Hattori-kun, Kazuha-chan, and her parents stared at the young man rolling around on the floor, Ran cleared her throat noisily. “What we have here,” she said slowly, “is a failure to communicate.”

Shinichi, still on the floor, murmured, “ET…phone home…line was busy…”

Hattori knelt down beside his fallen friend. “Kudo? You okay?”

Shinichi groaned. “She made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

Above him, Ran cracked her knuckles again.

Shinichi winced and breathed what he was sure would be his final word.


Written for a fic-swap on manycases1truth. My prompt was "movie quotes." I had fun :)

Tags: character: ran, character: shinichi/conan, fandom: detective conan/magic kaito, misc: one-shot

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