Candyland (candyfics) wrote,

Place in This World (DBZ)

Title: Place in This World
Fandom: Dragonball Z
Rating: PG
Genre: General--songfic
Publish Date: 8/5/2002 (O__O)
Disclaimer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I do not own DBZ.

The wind is moving, but I am standing still
A life of pages waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful, a head that's full of dreams
But this becoming is harder than it seems
Feels like...

The wind swept over the mountainside, rustling the grass at the young man’s feet.

He stood alone, staring out at the incredible view. The sun was setting over the horizon, bathing the sky in a sea of color. He could only guess how many different shades of pink, red, orange, and yellow Mother Nature had used to paint that breaktaking sight.

He was a young man—more child then man really, but with enough experiences locked away in his memory to last for five lifetimes. Sometimes he felt like he was a thousand years old, instead of a mere sixteen. But anyone who looked into his eyes would have easily seen the silent wisdom of someone far older. There hadn’t been a child behind those eyes for a very long time.

I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world

He sat down in the grass and pulled his knees up under his chin, wrapping his arms around his legs. The only sound around him was the gentle whisper of the wind spirits dancing through the trees and running through the grass.

It had been five years since the Cell Games. Five years without Dad. Five years of trying to get over his guilt. It hadn’t been easy. Even though he told everyone he was over it, he hadn’t completely moved on. There was always that little voice in the back of his head, constantly telling him how it was his fault, and how much everyone blamed him for what had happened. But that voice was starting to get softer. It had taken a long time, but he was finally accepting that he had to move on. Things had changed drastically in the past five years, and he had a whole lifetime to think about. So many opportunities and chances were out there, waiting for him.

Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

There was only one thing bothering him now. What was going to happen? If anyone knew about his heritage…no one would want anything to do with someone who was only half human. And if he was ever connected to those aliens that had landed all those years ago…that was the other part of his heritage. He was a descendant of Saiyan warriors, just like Nappa and Vegeta. If anyone ever connected him to them…oh, he didn’t even want to think about that.

What could he do? People never accepted anything different, and if they didn’t understand it, it frightened them. And worse still…if the truth about the Cell Games ever got out…what then? No one would ever believe that the almighty Cell had been brought down at the hands of an eleven-year-old boy rather than the Martial Arts Champion of the world.

There was nowhere to go, and no one to turn to it. At least, that’s what it felt like.

And Dad was still gone. He was accepting it.

If there are millions down on their knees
Among the many, can you still hear me?
Hear me asking where do I belong?
Is there a vision that I can call my own?
Show me...

He allowed his mind to drift, back…and back…

A child of four, he remembered. Dad was taking him to meet some friends. He remembered riding on the magical cloud, the Nimbus. It was such a special treat! And then they landed on the island with all those weird people. The bald guy, the old guy, the lady with blue hair, the turtle…but Dad was there, so it was all okay. He remembered that trust, that Dad would never let anything happen to him.

That trust was well placed.

Now all those weird people, and then some, were sitting back at his house, just enjoying each others company. He’d excused himself to go watch the sunset and think.

I wonder if Dad can see me, he wondered. I hope he’s proud.

I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Well, it was his life now. Five years had gone by with no new enemies. Five years of not having to see any friends or family slaughtered before his eyes. The only place to look was forward, to whatever future Fate was weaving for him. He’d been to the edge, he’d fallen off, he’d hit rock bottom…the only place he could possibly go was up. He’d find his own destiny. It was just that simple. Even if it meant that he would be outcast by a people that didn’t understand anything that was different.

Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If his fate was to be alone, forsaken by a world that didn’t understand him, then so be it. He’d survived worse, and he knew he could survive something as awful as loneliness too. There was nothing Fortune could throw at him he couldn’t handle.

Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world

"Gohan?" a young voice broke into his swirling thoughts. He turned and found himself looking at a miniature copy of his father, a little boy who was sitting about six inches away, staring at him through two curious, charcoal-colored eyes. He smiled fondly at the four-year-old.

"What’s up, squirt?" Gohan turned himself slightly so that he was facing his little brother.

"Mom says you need to come in now," the child said, proud to have been entrusted with the mission of fetching his older brother. "Everyone is still there, and she says since we have guests, you should come back inside and sosa…soso…talk to people."

"Socialize?" the older boy couldn’t help but grin.

"Yeah, what you said," Goten shrugged, then looked up and jumped up into his older brother’s arms for a hug that Gohan returned wholeheartedly. "Hey big brother, what were you thinking about? You looked like you were a million miles away!"

Gohan sighed and stood, picking Goten up and putting the child on his shoulders. "Oh, just thinking about some stuff. Getting old like me will do that to a person."

The four-year-old got a very serious look on his face. "Yeah, Gohan, you’re really old. Almost as old as Grandpa!"

The brothers laughed and walked back to the house together. As soon as they entered Gohan was accosted by his mother and dragged into the living room, where most of the gang was sitting. The Ox-King, Krillen, Number 18, Yamcha, Tien, Chaot-zu, Bulma, Vegeta, six-year-old Trunks, even Piccolo.

Gohan looked around the room at the odd assembly of strange people when it hit him, like a bolt of lightning. It doesn’t matter what happens. I won’t ever be alone. All these people are my family. Even if the rest of the world turns their backs on me, no one here ever will.

He looked around again, and couldn’t help but smile. Well…maybe Vegeta…

Goten wiggled happily from his perch. "I found him!" he proudly informed the crowd. "He was about a million miles away, but I brought him back."

"I was just thinking," Gohan said in answer to the questioning looks. "Goten pulled me back to reality, because I’m supposed to come in and…" he gestured to his little brother.

"Umm…sosolize?" Goten guessed.

Everyone smiled, especially Gohan. "Close enough." He set his brother down and sat down on the couch between Krillen and Yamcha. Goten followed him over and promptly crawled into his older brother’s lap, where he made himself quite comfortable.

"So…what were we talking about?" Gohan asked, ignoring the squirming child in his lap.

As the conversation resumed, the teenager settled back more comfortably into his seat and sighed. This was his family, and nothing could take them away.

Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

*You look tired. Are you thinking?* a familiar voice popped into Gohan’s mind. He smiled.

*Geez, Piccolo, don’t you ever knock?* he sent back a good-natured reply. *Have I no privacy with you people?*

*Not a chance, kid,* Piccolo’s mindvoice was amused.

*Oh brother. Go away,* Gohan laughed mentally. *Hey Piccolo..can I ask ya something?*

*Yeah, whatever.*

*And I want honesty here, no matter what.*

*I figured that.*

*Did you ever think it was my fault that Dad died?* Gohan’s facial expression didn’t change a hair—he was pretending to listen to something Bulma was saying—but he was unconsciously holding his breath for Piccolo’s answer.

It came. *Gods, kid, we’ve been through this. Gohan, it wasn’t your fault. Remember, not even your father blamed you for what happened.*

A mental sigh. *Yeah—*

Gohan was cut off as Piccolo continued. *Your father made a choice, Gohan. He chose to take Cell off the planet. He chose to die. He didn’t have to. You didn’t force him to make that choice. That was something he did on his own. So his death was by his own choice, and it was no one’s fault but Cell’s.*

Silence from Gohan’s end. Actually, the room fell completely silent.

Piccolo was sitting on the floor in his typical meditating pose. He opened one eye and glanced towards the couch.

Goten was asleep in his older brother’s lap. Gohan had also managed to doze off with his arms around his little brother and his cheek resting against Goten’s hair. All around the room, people were smiling at the adorable sight.

Only Piccolo noticed the expression on Gohan’s face. It was the happiest he had ever seen that kid. Gohan was at peace.

Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Tags: character: gohan, fandom: dragonball/z, misc: one-shot

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