Pairing: Kudo Shinichi/Mouri Ran
Fandom: Detective Conan
Theme: #21—violence; pillage/plunder; extortion
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Gosho Aoyama. I claim none, I merely borrow them and dress them up in frilly smocks and make them dance to my ever-changing will like the puppets they are.
Where was he, exactly?
The first thing that Shinichi became aware of as his eyes fluttered open was the fact that he did not know where he was. The ceiling was definitely not one in his home, nor was the bed beneath his back. Furthermore, there was a strange buzzing noise in his ears, and he could hear something beeping. He couldn’t place any of it—the sights or the sounds—because the whole world looked like he was viewing it through a veil. It was all hazy.
The second thing he realized through the fog was that he hurt. Hurt, hurt, hurt. The front of his face felt like a donkey was kicking him in the nose—except he couldn’t actually feel his nose. He just assumed it was still there on principle. His eyes would barely open, and as he fought to try and figure things out, he noticed that something on his face was extremely swollen—like, size of a cabbage swollen.
Finally, he noticed the people walking around him were wearing white coats. Doctors?
Wait a minute—even through everything else, his well-trained detective’s mind went to work with the vague clues he’d collected, like locking the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle into place. Doctors. Beeping. In a bed. Unfamiliar place. Massive amounts of hurting. Was he in the hospital?
Okay, so he was in a hospital. This brought about question number two: why was he in the hospital? Then he reasoned that perhaps it had something to do with the agonizing state of his face.
Then he noticed that someone was sitting beside his bed, bawling. He turned his head, and through the clearing haze, he could make out Ran, sitting there crying with her face in her hands. And he could hear her sobbing something that sounded suspiciously like, “I killed him. Oh my God, I killed him. I killed Shinichi, oh my god…”
“Ran?” he murmured, and regretted it instantly. Moving his jaw up and down to voice the single word sent the jackhammers and war-drums pounding in his head, and dammit, his face hurt! But then why the hell was his nose numb?
Her head snapped up at the sound of her name, and her tear-filled eyes widened as she noticed he was conscious. “Shinichi! You’re awake! Oh, thank God…I was so worried!” He could actually feel the relief pouring off of her.
“What happened?” he mumbled, trying desperately to ignore his splitting headache.
Ran looked faintly uncomfortable. “You…don’t remember?”
“Not really,” he replied. At that point, he was hurting enough that he could barely remember his own name, let alone how he had wound up in the hospital with some sort of bizarre growth on his face the size of a large grapefruit.
“Well…you said something that really made me mad…” she shifted nervously.
Shinichi tried to think back…
He was walking home from school with Ran, just like they did every day. They were talking, having a conversation about whatever random topic had come up. They walked past the park, doing their best to ignore some college-looking couple very much involved in a heavy make-out session on a bench (though Shinichi’s mind did wander a bit at that point). He had turned around, and he said something, he laughed, he heard Ran growl…
“And I mean, I was really, really mad,” Ran went on, her fingers knitting together in what he easily recognized as a nervous habit of hers, “and I didn’t really think, I just got pissed off, and I took a really good swing at you. I was aiming for the side of your head, but then you turned your head at the wrong moment, and…”
Ran was growling. Never a good sign. He heard the whoosh of displaced air, and turned to see what was up. The last thing he remembered was seeing a clenched fist coming right at his face at rocket-fast speed. His last coherent thought was OH CRAP…
“And I kind of hit you in the face, and…well, you fell over and didn’t get up, and your nose started bleeding and swelling up, and I wasn’t even sure if you were breathing or anything,” she barreled on, now gesturing wildly with her hands. “So I called an ambulance, and you’re in the hospital now.” She finally paused. “Do you remember anything at all?”
Shinichi thought. And thought. What in the world had he said that had gotten her so riled up? It had to have been something really big—it wasn’t uncommon for her to take swings at his head and all, but for it to be with actual intent to hurt him was something else entirely.
What had he said…?
Now he remembered…apparently that was not something one said to Ran—or was it to females in general, he wondered? But either way, if it was such blasphemy, then why was he still alive, exactly? And perhaps more importantly, why was the lady-love of his life so damn violent?
“Umm…yeah,” he murmured, trying desperately to ignore the pain in his face. This explained why his nose was swollen up to the size of a head of lettuce. “Yeah, I remember.” There was a pause before he added meekly, “…sorry?”
Ran thought about it for a second, then nodded. “Yeah, I nearly killed you. We’re even. But,” her eyes narrowed, “if you ever do it again, I will break a lot more than your nose, Shinichi. Understood?”
“Clear,” he sighed. “My face feels so broken…”
And that was the day that Kudo Shinichi learned a very important lesson for life. That day, he learned that if a man wants to live to a ripe old age, he should never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, even as an offhanded remark, even jokingly, ever, ever, ever make a comment—any sort of comment—about a woman’s weight.
Especially if that woman is a regional karate champion with an extremely short temper and the ability to smash said man’s nose with one blow should such a comment be made.
PS. Shinichi is so easy to pick on. I know I’m tormenting him, but I love him so. I love this challenge because it gives me the opportunity to actually have a good use for these really random scenes that appear in my head that won’t fit in anywhere else. This was…kind of stupid in hindsight, but the mental image wouldn’t leave me alone, I had to put it somewhere.
Extra bonus: magic_truth plunnied me with an omake for the previous chapter, Stealing a Kiss, where Shinichi is trying to kiss Ran, and she keeps moving away without meaning to. So here you go, a really short follow-up. Thanks, Fyliwion-chan, much love to you!
Shinichi sighed as he watched Ran. She was just standing there, chopping vegetables at the counter, totally unaware of his intentions. Then again, if she knew what was going through his head, she probably would have broken both his arms—and then possibly a few vertebrae, just for good measure.
He tiptoed up behind her. She didn’t turn around, long accustomed to his presence. He felt her tense ever so slightly when he slid his arms around her waist, but she relaxed almost instantly. It took a mere push of one hand to turn her around in his arms, and a dip of his head to pull her into a kiss.
After how hard it had been to kiss her that first time, now it was pleasantly commonplace. But that had been months ago, and Shinichi had been having…thoughts. To use the classic baseball metaphor, they’d already rounded first base, so the next stop was…
But he was only thinking about it, he had no actual intention of doing anything until Ran made it clear that he was permitted to; it was suicide to do otherwise. That having been said, he hadn’t meant to move his hand. Really, he hadn’t. But…
Ran jerked back. “Shinichi—!” A streak of fire blazed across her eyes.
Realizing his mistake and thinking very fast, Shinichi swallowed hard. After all, she had a very sharp knife right behind her on the cutting board, within easy reach, not to mention the fact that Ran could probably murder him with her bare hands anyway. “Ummm…there was a bug on your chest?”
PS. Could not help it. Must pick on Shinichi. Thanks for reading—much love to all!